Friday, 5 July 2024

The Great Iberian Road Trip, Days 5-8: If Cornwall Were Italian It Would Look Like This


The arrival in San Vicente de la Barquera was a mix of happiness and frustration. We were thoroughly excited to be in such a spectacular place, but the one-way systems in the town made it almost impossible to find the rental accommodation. The instructions were sketchier than the Technical Challenge round in the Bake-Off semi-final. In the end, it was simply me overthinking the situation. We had a spot in a typical Spanish indoor parking area - I don't know what it is about their propensity for converting their spare rooms into places to store cars, but the number of dodgy locations I’ve seen which are designated for cars would never pass the planning stage anywhere north of the Alps.

Our apartment overlooks the pseudo-Cornish inlet of the river Escudo, with a smattering of private boats moored on the channel. About 350 metres away on the opposite side of the river mouth lie two perfectly-formed semicircular beaches that lead up to a campsite, an apartment block, and some typical seaside cafés with their usual fare of substandard cakes and overpriced fried food. But in amongst them is a proper restaurant with a daily menu and real waiting staff. Something for everybody.
Heading along the road from our apartment on the right are blocks of apartments, a couple of supermarkets, a pharmacy and another café, and on the other side are the fishing docks where people come at all times of the day and night to purchase seafood and fish straight out of the sea. At the roundabout at the end, a right turn takes you over a fairly long, curved bridge towards the beating heart of the town. Here we find the Old Main Drag, as a famous Irishman once sang. The narrow streets and alleys leading off bring up some memories of Menaggio, on Lake Como. This is doubly confirmed by the view from the banks of the inlet as one goes left around its periphery. The colourful buildings rising up the hill to the castle, and their reflection on the still waters of this natural harbour all draw similarities with the Italian Lakes.
But without the pushy tourists and the unprincipled local pricing.
We both have responsibilities while we are here: Bonny Bee is making sure we stay financially afloat by doing the vast majority of the professional activities on this road trip, and because I’m the one with the driving licence and the knowledge of the area, I’m seeing that the kids have things to do.
After settling in, I went out to the supermarket to buy a few groceries and get acquainted with the locality. I decided to make something easy like pasta with bacon and tomato sauce. There was very little in the way of herbs or other loose products, so I just threw the lot together in a mishmash of filling nutrients. This is the main issue I have with tourist towns: I couldn’t even find proper muesli or fresh milk: it was all big brand rubbish in small quantities – the cereals with the green and orange cockerel on the front, the chocolate spread with the huge lettering, the yoghurts made in a French mega-factory near Nancy, and the coffee from a Swiss giant that I refuse to even touch, let alone buy. I settled for a local brand called Dromedario, which turned out to be really tasty, unlike that other mess that they roped George Clooney into hawking in a series of cringeworthy adverts.
I tend to stay away from big brands for most things, because they are so brutal in their marketing, that they are obviously trying to push aside any competition that might be better. Which is often all of the rest. Sometimes a few extra shekels gets you a much, much better quality product, and sometimes the cheaper supermarket brand is the best option.
Anyhow, the kids were not just hyperactive from all that sitting and relaxing in the car, they were excited to the point of delirium. I could tell it was going to be a pretty exhausting night. After a series of threats and confiscations, they eventually dropped off at around ten-thirty. Sleeping all in the same room brought a level of misery and despair to us a couple of years ago in Roskilde, but this has turned to sheer frustration – progress, one might say…
The morning light, accompanied by some pleasantly fresh air, gave me the urge to get going out to explore the town. But Bonny Bee and the children had other ideas. Bonny was excused, as she had a lot of work to do. The others just wanted to watch kids’ TV and take it easy, which is fair enough if you’re my age, but they’re at the battery-operated bunny rabbit stage of life, so they should be badgering me, not the other way round. In any case, I managed to get two of them out for a while; Dainoris had spent too long wasting our time, so to make a point, we left him with his mother.
The town was located about a ten-minute walk away from our place, and walking around it shouldn’t take that long, but there were a large number of obstacles in such a small area. Milda and Livia have an irrational fear of dogs, and this whole town is pooch paradise. Punctuating the random darting off screaming at the sight of a vicious-looking Labrador or a sabre-toothed Jack Russell, we managed to make it to the safe haven of a set of high bar stool at the first café in town. The rest would have to wait. After a soothing pineapple juice for them and a coffee for me; we carried on our walk, with me trying to stand between the girls and the ferocious poodles and brutal spaniels that blocked our path.


The main squares in San Vicente accommodate a tree-covered community meeting area, a number of cafés, a medical clinic, the central market, with the rest for cars. We walked around the serene harbour with the faint sound of fishing boats chugging out towards the sea. It was suddenly lunchtime and having been in Spain for nearly a year now, we are experts at identifying rip-off one-time-visit restaurants from the more family-friendly, repeat-visit ones. A good place was just opposite the market and a jolly old geezer with a smoker’s cough came out to hand us the daily menu, which seemed to have been the daily menu for several weeks.
In any case, Livia predictably chose spaghetti with tomato and minced beef, and Milda surprised us all by requesting fish. No ordinary fish, this was a connoisseur’s choice. Since she was still unable to walk, she has had an adventurous taste in food – this hasn’t shown signs of stopping. She also happens to be great company: nice chats, fun games, spur-of-the-moment singing… She makes our time pass so much more easily.
We then took a walk through the palm tree-lined park to the children’s playground at the other end of the town for a play and a little bit of energy-reduction before we headed back to our apartment to face the wrath of a rather truculent Dainoris. In the end, he had become quite meek and contrite, and since then seems to have calmed down a little.


That evening, I spent the rest of the time sitting in the huge bay window in the upstairs room looking out on the river mouth with the laptop. This was the perfect place to write – I will be returning here in the future.
The next day, Wednesday 3 July, it was the two girls who wanted to stay at home and Dainoris who wanted to go out. We did the same thing as the day before, except we had lunch in another local establishment. He met some younger kid in the playground who took a shining to him, and we would run into him a few times round the town.


So far, it had been a little bit of a dysfunctional stay in San Vicente, and Bonny Bee had hardly seen or done anything. So that afternoon, we managed to get to the beach – it was a glorious day; the kind of cotton-white clouds that amble leisurely across the sky and change shape on an almost constant basis. The beach was full of families, teenage groups, the odd geriatric nudist, and the traditional supply of protein-fuelled Neanderthals flexing muscles and grunting at passers-by.
There are no waves here, which made it easy for the three to walk straight into the water and splash around as much as they wanted. They played very nicely together indeed, which made a great change. I went out further into the water, and instantly regretted it when my foot scraped on what seemed to be an open shell or a shard of rock sticking up. Getting out of the water and going to the First Aid centre at the top of the beach was going to be a tricky affair, but I made it. They sterilised the wound and patched me up, but sooner or later I would have to go to the clinic in the centre, I was sure. The gash was deep but quite clean. The thick skin of the foot was going to take a long time to reattach.
And that was the end of my aquatic activities for a while.


We went back to the apartment to finish off the evening in peace. Not a bit of it. I made burgers in bread and when Livia asked me to cut hers into several pieces, she slipped her finger in and the knife I was using sliced part of her skin off. It was one of the most traumatic things that ever happened to me. I felt sick. So did everyone else. Livia, for all her faults, took it in her stride, and after the initial shock, acted with stoic calm once her finger was bandaged up.
On the Thursday, our final full day here, I needed to go to the pharmacy for two reasons – Livia’s finger and my foot. We changed Livia’s plaster and the pharmacist gave me some waterproof plasters. While I was there, one of the employees of the local clinic came in and the pharmacist asked her to take a look at my foot. She told me to go immediately to get an appointment. I am constantly fascinated by the amount of paperwork we have to carry around with us in Spain to get anything simple done. I had to stand there with three marauding munchkins while being asked for various bits of admin. My fears were unfounded, as everyone in the place that day witnessed my three little hooligans playing on the reception floor so very nicely. The compliments were unfamiliarly kind, but I would take them gladly.
But the woman at reception nonetheless located all the details needed and printed out a receipt-like piece of paper with the confirmation of my appointment for 16.20 that afternoon. We went around town a little bit more, their mother took over while I went to get the car and they walked over the bridge to the beach. It was clouding up quite a lot so I didn’t think there would be much activity on the beach, but this is the hardy north, where people take no notice of the weather – a recognisable trait for me.
Arriving slightly early for the doctor, I was seen very rapidly. You know you are getting old when the doctor meeting you is young enough to be your daughter. This had never happened to me before – the doctors I have been seen by are often fusty, crusty fuddy-duddies, but here was someone who was probably still imbibing cocktails and jumping to an electronic beat on a Saturday night until 4 or 5. She was extremely good at her job and had an enthusiasm for it that impressed me greatly. I think she would have made an excellent dinner party guest.
She gave me an ointment to rub on three times a day and a strip of waterproof plasters. We had a short chat about life in the town and off I went, to find the others at the beach further up. I parked right at the edge of the beach and found Livia and Dainoris in the water. Initially I couldn’t see their mother or Milda, but eventually they were spotted further up just below the best-looking beach café I have ever seen. It’s one of those places that even civil engineers and merchant bankers on six-figure salaries would spend a few moments considering resigning to do a few hours’ work a week there. Although with their savings, they could probably buy the place in cash.


From the beach, you go up some grass-lined concrete steps to the roadside pavement. At the other end of the pavilion, about 10 metres further on, is the bar. It is well-stocked with plenty of cakes, sandwiches, snacks and all types of drinks. I can imagine it’s pretty kicking on Saturday nights in the summer. The bartender, a softly-spoken gentle giant from Colombia who had everything under control, told us about the cakes on offer in his display cabinet.
There was a marvellously unpretentious cheesecake with speculoos (called Lotus in Spain, after the Belgian company that produces it), but my eyes were drawn to the most handsome buttercream-covered carrot cake I have ever seen. I settled for a slice of that. It was exactly how I liked my cake: slightly underbaked by just a few minutes so that it retains its fluffiness and stays fresh and moist, even when it sits in a display unit all day. As for the buttercream, all I can say is I asked for the details of the maker, because I wanted to personally write them a note to congratulate them for making the best carrot cake I have ever eaten.
Livia’s finger had got wet in the water, despite wearing one of those finger condoms taped up. It was bleeding because the water had softened the skin and the coldness hadn’t helped. We headed back to the apartment one last time to patch her up and dress her wound once more. She complained a bit about it, but she’s pretty calm, which is the best attitude you can have.
The following morning we would be heading westward once again to Galicia, a dream of mine for many years. But for the final hours of daylight, I would sit by the window overlooking the inlet and write, write, write…


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Thursday, 4 July 2024

The Great Iberian Road Trip, Day 4 - The Wild Westward Way


We left the far-flung Kerry Mountains – a.k.a. the Sierra de Urbasa – at an unspeakably early hour on Monday morning. We were all convinced that we weren’t cut out for 100% rural life for longer than two nights. In fact, the children tellingly got dressed and brushed their teeth without even so much as a whimper: a sure sign of their camping fatigue. This has been truly noted. I packed the car to within an inch of its life (we won’t be buying too many large souvenirs on this road trip, that’s for sure) and we set off on the spectacular road that runs from Navarra to the port city of San Sebastian.

Valencia, with its wide boulevards and spacious motorways, is a perfect city for those who like to thrash their cars. I was completely bamboozled many times by Valencian drivers: they’ll overtake you at a traffic light if it means they’ll get in front. I have been raced through the streets many times – more so when I was still in a German car. I remember one geezer looking at me with a huge smile on his face waiting for the traffic lights to turn green so he could leave me for dust. He forgot I was in a Toyota Prius Plus Hybrid and I could go 0-60 in about 3 seconds – never try to instigate a drag race with a battery-operated car: you will lose. I have been tailgated by old grandmas in 30-year-old Peugeot 305s, overtaken on the wrong side by huge truck drivers, and been outmanoeuvred by a driving instructor going 40 km/h above the speed limit.
So it came as an enormous shock to me to find that Basques drive like utter lunatics. The breathtaking, winding motorway that cuts through the dramatic landscape here, chicaning in and out of valleys, running parallel to hillside meadows and cutting through the limestone rock, is a perilous yet utterly beguiling route from Pamplona to the coast and on along into Cantabria and Asturias. We could have been in Switzerland or subalpine Italy if it were not for the numerous crash scenes. It reminded me of the high summer insect slaughter in my kitchen: random vehicles strewn along the highway as if some colossal child ogre with a massive flyswat had splatted them. So you would think that the blessed locals would learn from this and slow down.
Not a bit of it.
In fact, I had to perform some pretty scary manoeuvres of my own just to keep up. There were articulated trucks overtaking in the fast lane; there were Dacia Dokker drivers hurtling round bends as if they were expecting a chequered flag to appear; there were motorcyclists dodging in and out of the traffic like some Star Wars-Grand Theft Auto mashup. And in amongst all this were we. I mean, I’m not a squeamish driver; I can truly handle myself on the road. But I was just pretty badly shocked by it all. In Valencia, they drive competitively. Here, they drive aggressively, or even with hostility.
Using my phone as the GPS, I noticed an email coming in from the Valencian Education Ministry. This was serious. This would be the day we found out about our children’s fate in the coming year. Where would they be placed? Previously, we had to go through what I can only describe as the world’s least efficient school application process. In fact, it was so unwieldy and unmanageable, I asked the secretary of our preferred school to do it for us. About a month ago, the online applications opened up for schools in the Valencian Community. You have to go to a particular website and get yourself an ID. Fair enough. But to do that, you need to scan and send every single piece of paperwork you have ever received, and woe betide anyone who is applying with the wrong type of document.
The Spanish NIE is a piece of paper you get to prove you are a resident in Spain. To get this, we had to jump through hoops of fire. And when we got it, we soon realised it was only the preliminary one. To get the full version, you have to train a set of gibbons to make a Black Forest gâteau and serve it with steaming hot coffee to a group of top German chefs. So as we don’t have that particular skillset, we gave up in a blind panic and pleaded with Isabel, a truly kind and patient woman who runs the school’s secretariat along with her sister, to do it for us. The fact that she offered to do it for us says a lot about the type of application process. Some larger schools even provide appointments for anxious parents to come along and have their applications handled.
You choose between five and ten schools you would like your kids to end up in, and through a points-based system, they allocate you to various schools. The points are loosely based on the following criteria: number of siblings, location close to home or work, recently moved there, and then a few other factors. As this one is a four-minute walk from our office, we have three kids, and we recently arrived, we were more or less nailed on for our first choice. So when I pulled off the motorway into a service station area and went to the database to check, I was astonished and frustrated (but hardly surprised) to find that I was unable to connect. I called the ministry immediately, and after a long wait, some person told me that if the school did your application, then the school would dispense the decision.
But when I called the school’s secretary, she wasn’t there. We had to wait until the day after to discover the results.
I tried to block it out of my mind and just enjoy the scenery, even if it was raining and cold. The weather evoked memories of Belgium in March – it is a wonder of our rich planet that the climate in the Basque Country is so temperate, and yet further north round the Bay of Biscay in Bordeaux, Royan or Arcachon it’s about 10 to 15 degrees warmer.

We arrived in a rather gloomy San Sebastian a little after 10 in the morning. I had always wanted to walk along the Kontxa promenade there, with its ornate architecture and imaginative ironclad ornaments, but being here at the beginning of July in weather that the Scots would describe as dreich, I was rather underwhelmed. The city behind the seafront was also fairly generic. This could be any middling European market city: a little bit of Antwerp in the street accessories, a dash of Mannheim in the atmosphere, a sprinkling of Leicester in the shops, and a dose of the unexciting Zürich social scene. There were grid streets, tree-lined avenues, the same chain shops as everywhere else, and very utilitarian amenities. Nothing really screamed that it was special or unique. I think humdrum sets the scene perfectly.


And that was the moment that it hit me: Valencia is unique. Diverse. Multifaceted. Exciting. Playful. Impish. Subversive. Truculent. And I missed it so desperately. In under a year, Valencia had shown itself to me and awoken so many of my feelings that had remained dormant during the previous fifteen long wilderness years.
Such a powerful epiphany. For the ten months we had spent there, I had been constantly questioning whether we had made the right decision, and it took a walk in the Basque rain for me to realise it. I had had my misgivings about the whole scheme: why would we want to put down our roots in such a vastly different place? Why didn’t Bonny Bee want to settle for something less adventurous, like Belgium or Czechia? But now I saw the method in the madness: and I can now say that I have a much clearer picture of the situation and as soon as we return to Valencia in September, I will get the ball rolling on our definitive settling in the area.
The further westward we went, the cheerier the weather. When the huge sign appeared welcoming us to Cantabria, the skies suddenly brightened up. I didn’t, though. I was feeling sleepy from all the early-morning packing, the driving and the burden of not knowing where my kids were going to school in September. Having them in El Cabanyal, a few hundred metres from our office, would be a huge relief to us, and make our lives much easier.
But that would have to wait, as I was determined to enjoy the inspirational landscape that had announced itself in front of us. If the Basque Country had been a southern mashup of Ireland and Germany, Cantabria has echoes of Devon, Cornwall, the Scottish Lowlands, and Lake Como.
The picturesque fishing port of San Vicente de la Barquera lies in an inlet at the mouth of the river Escudo and other tributaries. The squeal of seagulls, the chugging of fishing boats, the buzzing waterside houses and hostelries, the ubiquity of seafood, all have echoes of Devon and Cornwall – this could be St Ives, Polperro, Dartmouth or Padstow. The squares, with their social heart, the florid character of the buildings, and the serenity of the water lapping at the shores all draw parallels with Lake Como villages such as Bellagio. And the imposing, undulating dark hills with their wild and shadowy forests and wide-open meadows immediately reminds me of Loch Lomond and the Trossachs. However, the immense, white-clouded skies with their penetrating light, tell me I am much further south. And indeed I am. But also much further north than Valencia.
San Vicente de la Barquera, and Cantabria as a whole, is one of Europe’s best-kept secrets; and I will elaborate in the next instalment.




Monday, 1 July 2024

The Great Iberian Road Trip, Days 1-3: Willkommen in Irland


In German there's a saying: everything has an end, but the sausage has two. And the end of the Valencian sausage was bitten off on Saturday, at least until September. We are in exile for the summer months because our rental contract by the sea was from September to June, but we were good enough to be welcomed back in the late summer. So instead of dishing out a huge packet of money for July and August, we decided to go on the road.

Our first destination is the Sierra de Urbasa in the Basque-Navarra border area. In a landscape that comes across as a mash-up of Ireland and Germany, we spent the night experiencing a sensation we haven't had for over a year now - cold. The Irish foggy dew kicked in soon after dark in the German forests of Northern Spain.
Something interesting of note - people here don't scream as much as the Valencians; in fact I was quite surprised to hear the commentary of the football that was on low in the crowded campsite tavern.
Yesterday started with the usual blind panic: packing the car, taking the last bits to our storage container, tidying the apartment ready for the professional cleaners, handing over the keys to the agent, then finally taking off two hours after my preferred departure time.
The first angry leg of the journey took us to Teruel, just inside Aragon, full of excited children fighting with each other over the slightest thing. Recent changes to the direction of traffic forced me to drive up a winding narrow road in Teruel that ended in a gap no wider than 2 people and I had to reverse between houses and parked cars for a good 100 metres. With the kids providing a running commentary and a small crowd of helpful but concerned locals, I managed to keep a lid on the pressure.
The city was in full fiesta mode - there were bikers, truckers and old timers everywhere. The city centre is quite packed with narrow roads and I decided to abandon the car on an incline just outside and walk to a restaurant. The kids had no intention of walking far, so in the first main square we sat at a restaurant table and ordered their greasy offerings.



Something sat badly in my stomach and I decided to go and rescue the car. And a very good thing too, because about a minute afterwards, a parade of trucks led by the local police came steaming up the hill.
I fortuitously found a parking space no more than a couple of hundred metres further up. Then I scuttled back to the restaurant and ate my burger. I am not a fan of vertical food - I like it spread out on the plate so I can stick my knife and fork in it without having to pick anything up with my hands. But the bread it came in was tasty, not the usual cardboard crap.
The journey from then on was pretty uneventful - one stop at a motorway service station café for apple cake and a coffee to dispel my imminent drowsiness and off we set. The colours changed from yellow to green a little after Zaragoza. The rolling hills and grey stone escarpments took on a gentler subalpine nature. And suddenly Navarra was upon us. On the notices and road signs the Ks, Zs and Xs became more prevalent and virtually worthless in local Scrabble, and the asphalt changed from yellow concrete to sleek black with freshly painted white trim. The steering wheel and brakes had more work to do, and the car lights came on much earlier than down south.
The drive from the main road up to the campsite reminded me of the tree-lined approach to Saarburg from Luxembourg, although much narrower and darker. It had been raining and the ground was populated with puddles. The number of hairpins up to the campsite was remarkable, and we had it almost to ourselves.
Up among the heather, thistles and gorse at the top of the hill about 1000m above sea level, lies the serene camping ground where we stayed on our first night of our 65 days in exile, a rudimentary but ultimately spectacular beginning to our adventures.


The evening was spent at the tavern, eating txistorra sausages and watching the first part of Germany's laboured victory over Denmark in Euro 2024. We took the kids back to the tent, where they made a great number of excited noises before letting the fresh mountain air overcome them. Bonny Bee chiseled hard at work in the car to keep warm before joining us to witness the distant flashes of lightning reflecting off the tent's white shell.
The morning revealed a classic Highland gloom which evoked memories of past northern European autumns, but this was midsummer in Spain. Next time anyone makes a snarky comment about the weather, I will remind them that the temperature in this part of Spain barely rises above 23 in summer.
It was around a quarter to nine on a Sunday morning in a landscape more suited to the Brothers Grimm or Roddy Doyle than Cervantes or Lorca, but stomachs needed filling and I had the distinct feeling this area had adopted the German propensity to close the shops for long periods. After driving through a couple of towns, I stumbled upon a café full of lonely old men sitting in solitude on different grey plastic tables staring at something, mainly a newspaper, but sometimes their own drink. Another German habit.
I bought some breakfast cakes and a couple of molten hot coffees and slowly stumbled back to the car, stopping at every bench to let my fingers cool down. I'm surprised the plastic lining in the cups didn't melt, quite frankly.
When I arrived back at the campsite, I was greeted by a bout of pandemonium caused by not having enough to do. This would be the theme the whole day. By one o'clock, we were crawling up the canvas and bouncing off the mattresses. There are only so many times you can visit the horses and feed the donkey. The poor kids needed something to do because this was getting to be a running theme. The main issue is Bonny Bee still needs to do her translation work, otherwise we'll be sleeping on an Andalucian beach in August. So once she finishes her work we can go places and do things. I don't mind occupying them myself, but if there's a good chance their mother can join us, I prefer to wait.
At one thirty we had a bite to eat and afterwards we took a trip to the local panoramic viewing platform, passing cows, sheep, horses, and goats, all who had access to the road too, and were not afraid to amble into the middle for a hilarious lie-down. This particular activity was the least German part of the day. In the Teutonic Lands, that type of behaviour would have caused the road to be closed and brought out several emergency services. Here, it's a matter of just making sure you don't drive too fast and giving way to cars on the other side.
Livia felt like just chilling in the car, so Milda and Dainoris joined us for a walk to the viewing platform.


And what a view it was.
I don't think I can remember the last time I was flabbergasted by such a spectacular expanse of land. It could have been Germany, Ireland, Austria, Switzerland, the UK, Czechia, Slovakia or Poland, but nobody expects to be greeted by goats in front of a full green, clouded, windswept valley while wearing long trousers and coats in Spain, even here. It's just not the stereotype. And how silly these stereotypes are.
As we made our way through the heathland full of birds like the jay and the hawk, we were astounded by our children's knowledge - Milda pointed out a thistle to us, and Dainoris told us some facts about the insects. How do they know this stuff?!
Arriving at the car, an alarm was going off, and it wasn't clear where it was. But it happened to be our car. After the initial dumbfounded reaction had given way to a disturbing feeling of worry, I noticed that Livia had managed to prise open the car door and that had somehow set it off. She may be fairly aloof at times, but she is very resourceful.
Back at the campsite, we all had a rest and I decided to go to watch the football.
It's now Monday morning. We made the decision to get going early - it's not even 9 am and we're eating breakfast in the next town.
We left Saarburg for a reason last year: this reminded us why.
Today's destination: San Vicente de la Barquera.


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Wednesday, 25 October 2023

Life In Spain: Return Of The Smiles


EARNING AND LEARNING. YEARNING...? NO!

It was the last day in August. Our holiday in Peñíscola was almost over, but first we had to go to sign the contract for our new apartment at the beach. The signing appointment took place in the offices of Mercedes’ employer, a large complex of offices located in what seemed to be a former factory, then an entertainment venue, before settling on being a huge co-working space. It looked like a drive-in dance hall at 10 in the morning after the cleaners had been. I would also consider having my offices there, but there wasn’t a window except in the ceiling, and when it’s sunny outside, the last thing I want to do is not be able to see it.

When we arrived, Kirsten took the children to the playground across the street, and I went inside in my summer shorts and short-sleeved shirt – it was still our holiday for another night, at least. Our future proprietor, a sprightly lady in her nineties, was wearing full business dress and sitting next to her carer, a classy South American woman equally as elegant. Mercedes came in in her work suit carrying her papers and a massive smile. I felt like a rancid residue of flatulence in a small metal box on wires that transports people to different floors.

Anyhow, everyone ignored the fact there was a slice of half-eaten cheese amongst all the exotic salad, and had a cosy chat to get to know each other. Our new landlady was a very interesting and experienced person, and it seemed little could faze her. Which was fortunate, as I felt so underdressed, that even I disapproved of me.

Then Mercedes said that Kirsten had to sign as well. Which would mean all three of the children would have to come in. And the owner of the apartment would see them and they might start a fight or set off the water sprinklers or go to the toilet on an upholstered armchair. In the end my ridiculous misgivings were unfounded – the owner was delighted to meet the children, and they were well-behaved. Silly Daddy!

We were due to remain in the apartment for ten months until the end of June, with the intention of selling our house in Saarburg and buying a new one with the proceeds. Time will tell if that does happen, but as of 24 September, there have been about 14 separate visitors to the house. If by early spring there is no movement, I will start making contingency plans for the summer.

Further plans have included renting a container in the next town that we will fill with our furniture and belongings when we find transport. If things go well, the idea will be that we will start preparing our new house while we still live in the apartment, so that when we move in, everything will be in place. It’s a tall order, but I have hope.


After signing, I drove us all to Mestalla to a restaurant I visited earlier in the summer called El Rinconet, a special place in one of the many courtyards containing a children’s playground and shops surrounded by apartments. Their menu shows off the most Spanish foods you can find, although it’s run by a Hungarian with his sons and a Polish maîtresse d’hôtes. However, that’s beside the point – the excellent dinner we had truly rounded off our holiday, and we headed back to Peñíscola for one last night.

The following morning, we packed up the car and headed to town for a final breakfast before taking the scenic route to our new lives. The true sign of how your children are going to cope with the new setting is in their initial reaction, and when they saw the beach, the swimming pool, the ice cream bar and café, the private playground, and then the actual apartment, all three of them were whooping for joy like Texans at a barbecue. The second way you can tell if your children are going to cope or not is if they start asking when they’re going “home” again. 62 days we’ve been there at the time of writing, still no mention of the old place.

It was a Friday, and the following Monday they had to start their new school. I was intrigued to know how Livia was going to get on, now her lessons would be in English and her siblings would be in other classrooms in the same place. But first, we needed to settle in and enjoy the final weekend of their summer holiday, which until the last two weeks had been rather miserable due to their parents spending most days packing up their belongings and throwing away everything that they hadn’t used in a while.

The weekend weather was sadly very windy and cloudy, so I took us all to the Carrefour hypermarket to buy provisions and see a little bit of the area. I made us patatas fritas en aceite (chips in olive oil) and some steak.

Then on the Monday, there was an open day where we could all meet the various teachers for each child. They were charming, efficient, friendly, caring and motivated – quite a refreshing change. The school itself is between a hairdresser and a supermarket on Avinguda Cardenal Benlloch, one of the many bustling thoroughfares slicing their way through Valencia. Its façade is unrecognisable as a school, as it looks like one of the other shop fronts that line the street, but when you walk in, it’s a child’s dream. The walls are white, the tiled floors spotlessly clean, the rooms ordered and equipped for each different year.

We were greeted by the teachers for each class at various times of the day, and given a presentation on the different activities planned throughout the school year. It seemed ambitious and exciting: learning to read, appointing one of the children as superhelper for a day, and giving the children plenty of exercise in the courtyard inside the cluster of buildings.

The next day, we had to implement our new daily routine, which was totally different from the one in Luxembourg, as you will see shortly. But now that the children were in school, we could look for an office. At the very first try, we found one at a coworking centre situated about 5 minutes’ walk from the beach in the Cabanyal district of the city.

When we walked in off the street to take a theoretical look at the place, we were greeted by Cristina, the owner and director, another of the long line of very accomplished businesswomen that we have encountered here. Human and energetic, fun and patient, she runs the place without breaking sweat. This is due to the efficient team behind her, who keep the place thriving. We made some general enquiries about the possibility of becoming members, and asked if there were any spare private offices.

Coincidentally, someone had just vacated the only free office available, and upon viewing it, we took it immediately. From only the fifth day of being in our new location, we had a beachside apartment, a school for the children, and a place to go to work. Here is our routine:

07.30 – wake up, have breakfast 

08.00 – get washed and dressed

08.35 – leave the house

08.55 – arrive, park and get out of the car

09.00 – doors open, children are welcomed in the lobby

09.05 – we go for coffee across the street at one of the cafés

09.30 – we drive to our office

09.45 – I drop Kirsten off and go to park the car before joining her

13.20 – we head out for lunch at one of the countless eateries in the area

14.30 – we return to the office for a couple more hours

16.40 – we go to the car and drive to the school

16.55 – we park, pick up the children and hear reports of their day from their teachers

17.05 – we go to a café for drinks and a treat

After this, we might go to the playground, just behind the main road in a square. It is massive, and teeming with kids from all the other local schools. There are often birthday parties in there, and all the kids, even those not invited, are welcome to take a piece of cake or have a drink of juice. The community atmosphere and feeling of safety is tangible. Children just pick up toys or scooters from other kids and play with them, parents go around and pick up their stuff once they’re ready to go home. This would be unthinkable in the previous place we lived – where was that, again…?!

We would then go to the supermarket to get what we might need – breakfast cereal, bread, cheese, juice, then head home. With the evening still ahead of us, the children might play with some Duplo or watch some cartoons on RTVE’s children’s channel, called Clan. It’s a perfectly prepared recipe of animations that cater for various age groups getting older as the evening wears on. We have a few slices of bread, some cheese, mortadella, chocolate spread, or butter, and then wind down a little. At bedtime, they get ready and head to their rooms with barely a complaint, having had a full day’s activity.

The change in lifestyle, diet, climate, culture, and things to do has been extreme. Every day is different, every weekend packed with action. I worked out we have a minimum of 2, maximum 3 and a half more hours a day to enjoy our lives. In the old place, I would need an hour, sometimes an hour and a half to get to the school and then another 30 minutes to get to the office. The same on the way home. And if there was traffic, forget that.

September wore on. We were keen to know how Livia was coping in class, and how she was adapting to her learning. In the beginning, it was evident she was still behind the rest. She was not helped by her own inhibitions: her hypermobility made it difficult to do some simple things; her lack of self-confidence partly due to that prevented her from trying out some new things right away; and she was still disrupting some of the class activities.

But as the weeks went by, we noticed some positive changes: she was doing a lot more talking, recognising numbers, expanding her vocabulary, and helping with minor chores. There were also a lot of tantrums, refusals, scratching, pushing, knocking and general mayhem, but the gradual reduction in these transgressions gives us hope that she will settle down quite soon.

On 20 September, Livia was designated Superhelper for the day. How would she cope? We were intrigued to know. At the end of the day, at the report, the teacher said she did really well, even telling one of her classmates not to mess with the equipment. We had a budding responsible citizen, and we were ready to nurture this.

I would like to tell you a little about Valencia. It is the most energetic and exciting city I have lived in since I left London in 2001, and probably the best city I have ever visited, let alone had the joy of being a resident of. Before we decided where to move to, I was worried about being somewhere far from the places we frequent the most. The fact of the matter is Valencia has it all: there is architecture and culture here that reminds us of Copenhagen, London, Prague, Brussels, Liverpool.

There is the sea, there are mountains half an hour away, there are forests, and there are the airport and the ports. The food at lunchtime is so good and so cheap that I have cooked barely four times since we got here. The pedestrian streets are paved with marble, there are ancient trees standing majestically in every corner of the city, you can find museums that will entertain your family for weeks without going to the same one, a children’s recreation area is no longer than a five-minute walk from whichever part of the city you live in. It’s not Barcelona or Madrid, and we are all thankful for that. It still feels like a city that should host an Olympic Games or an Expo, but will probably be overlooked in favour of the other two. However, it is European Green Capital 2024, so that’s something.

And as for the people here, they are so easy to relate to: you can talk to strangers without them feeling like you’re weird. It is so safe, people of all ages walk the streets at any time of day or night, and there are little things that make you happy, like when the neighbour took the lift this morning. I heard him getting in it and going downstairs, but he obviously heard us getting ready to leave the apartment, because when we did, the empty lift was waiting for us there. He had evidently sent it back for us. These minor gestures are what make this place what it is. Since we arrived, I have also noticed how much more freely the children interact with kind strangers (always in our presence, of course).

They are no longer shy to say hello or hold a conversation with someone new. They are not frowned upon for shouting or screaming in a public place – most people just laugh or roll their eyes sympathetically, rather than come over to us when they’ve had enough and question our parenting skills. In restaurants, nobody has bat an eyelid when Milda has screamed her lungs out. When Livia threw one of her fits in a supermarket, several people became concerned and helped us calm her down, rather than ignore us or worse, complain to the manager. Because we have always believed in freedom of expression for our kids, we had always felt inhibited, or even reluctant to go out in public in the former place, but here, there’s no reason to – in fact, quite the opposite. We have done more in the two months we have been here than in the six years prior.

So you see, in the end, it was fate.

For that reason, I would like to thank the director of Livia’s previous school for not having the nerve to tell us in February that they were not going to take her, and instead waited until he could pluck up the courage at the end of June to inform us. If it wasn’t for his cowardice and procrastination, we would still be in the other place, rotting away slowly without realising why. We wanted to change places, but I think we just didn’t have the energy for it, so when he dropped his bombshell, it gave us a kick up the backside that led us to re-arrange our lives for the better.

On Friday 20 October, I took a brief trip back to our previous house to check on it, pick up some important documents, and make some arrangements for the shipping of our belongings. I flew into Luxembourg airport and hired a car to drive back to Saarburg. Upon arriving at my previous home, I felt a disconnect, a lack of attachment to the place, except for the garden. And when I viewed our belongings, I also thought “well, let’s just get rid of them, and start all over again!”

I stayed in a hotel the first night while I came to terms with the fact that I had lived in that house for 13 years until 22 August 2023, but also because the heating was off. I also remember how bored I was there. The whole time I lived there, I did a lot of irrational and unconventional things, just to keep myself distracted from the dullness all around. I look back with some horror on a few of the dark thoughts I had. Luckily, I have no more time for them, and so much more to live for.

After a weekend that included having to stay in a hotel the first night due to the heating being off, having to go for a midnight drive and walk in order to make it easier to sleep but being wired until 5 am due to being spooked out, having a massive headache due to lack of sleep, not being able to hold in my food after eating a dodgy kebab the night before, scraping the hire car against a concrete flower pot, and suffering from the miserable cold and fog, I arrived at Luxembourg airport 3 hours before I was supposed to, just to make myself psychologically aware that I was getting the hell out of the place and burying the ghosts along with it. In the end, the flight was delayed so I spent 5 hours in the airport, but I didn’t mind – it had finally stopped the sentiment of regret that we had not left on our own terms. Instead, I realised it was fate telling us to GTFO and prosper elsewhere.

I don’t mean to say everything was miserable in the old place – definitely not. There are things I miss, such as my perfect little office in Luxembourg and the many kind people I knew there. I also miss the lovely people at Café Nordbo, the Scandinavian café and the ScanShop attached to it – I felt like a friend there, not a customer. I miss the river Saar and the green trees that line it. I miss being able to pop over to France or Belgium for a short trip or for dinner. And I miss my beautiful garden and all the things I had planted in there – there are over 30 trees and some extraordinary shrubs.

But these are offset by the new life we have here. I was so happy to be back in Valencia, that I woke the kids up when I got home to give them hugs and have a little cry. The day after, Tuesday 24 October, despite a late arrival and the feeling of being wired and tired, I was so disoriented by the entire experience, and by the fact there was the sun in the sky, that by the end of the morning, I had another two car accidents to go alongside the one I had in Luxembourg. Luckily damage was minimal, and nobody was hurt.

Then, in the greatest coincidence of all time, I was involved in a fourth road accident in the evening when a car reversed into me (this time not my fault). How utterly bizarre is that? There must be an ancient pagan rule of providence somewhere that can explain why I went for four years without a single accident, to having four in the space of about 27 hours…

To conclude this, I wanted to highlight several things with these three articles:

It is important to make proper life choices and never to hesitate in changing if necessary.

Once you have kids, you don’t matter any more – it’s about assuring their future.

If something is making you miserable or doesn’t feel right, don’t put it to the back of your mind and make excuses; don't say it's too hard, or it's not the right moment, because you're just wasting time; take action.

Below are some photos of our experiences so far:

Settling in on the day we arrived

Wearing their school uniforms on the first day

Playing tag on the Plaza de la Mare de Deu

The children make a new friend at the Moors & Christians Parade

Livia gets sandy on the beach

The funfair at Pobla de Farnals

Livia goes for a drive

Milda jumps for joy

Our little supermodel

The smell of coffee is enough to put Dainoris off - thankfully

The shopping centre opposite the massive City of Arts and Culture

Livia likes heights

Sunrise viewed from our terrace