Honestly. You try your whole life conscientiously avoiding learning to drive, to the extent that people think you're poor, that in the end you start questioning if it is worth it...
When Lady Kirsten and I lived in Leuven, public transport was pretty OK. Not ideal, and often late, Belgian buses were often the only effective way of moving around the city. The trains are also pretty comfortable, although unreliable.
In our corner of Germany, I must say, the trains will work almost to the second, even in the coldest of snowy winters to the extent that you dare not be late. My criticism of them though is a valid one. They are not very frequent. Punctual, but rare. Efficient, but scarce. Clean, fast, even cheap. But if you miss one, it would be quicker to go back to your house and fetch your bicycle.
When we moved to Saarburg, it was great, because I could step outside, walk 200 metres (not even that) and jump on the bus straight to Luxembourg. It drops me about 5 minutes from the European Court of Justice and the Jean Monnet Commission building, two of the buildings I work in, although if I need to go to the European Parliament or Commission training building, I still have to get another bus. And it is this bus where the problems start. The people hanging out at bus stops have little or no sense of community spirit. They will get on the bus before everyone has got off and make sure they get the best seats. These buses are virtually empty and yet they are acting like it's the last bus from Armageddon.
The worst thing in Luxembourg is that many bus lines are so frequent that there might be another one right behind, similarly empty. Luxembourg's bus travellers don't acknowledge that probability though, and often make the experience so unattractive that you imagine you'd like to be sitting in the passenger seat of a ripoff taxi, which is the norm in Luxembourg. Although this is not the case every time.
But the bus taking me from Saarburg to Luxembourg is not squalid. Quite the opposite, but here lies a further, paradoxical complication. It is a luxury coach, with one of the most scenic routes in the world. It starts off in the Saar Valley where we are, rising up the steep forested hills to the open moors which separate the Saar from the Mosel, taking in the windswept beauty of the countryside around Merzkirchen before we plummet into the Mosel valley, crossing the frontier in some exquisite vineyard country, then rising up to meet the motorway into Kirchberg and Luxembourg City.
However, there are a few difficulties here, namely one of the drivers. He seems to think that everyone is an abstract object. When I tell him which stop I wish to get off at, he looks at me as if I have just said something philosophical and incomprehensible. When passengers buy their monthly ticket, he just takes our money and says nothing before handing it over, as though we are not interactive instruments capable of communicating on his wavelength. He does little to make us happy and you can never rely on him for a favour. I get on the bus at its second stop.
But there is an even more pressing problem here: the passengers. The vast majority are OK, but I sense that as they are from the country, they are not used to strangers taking their bus. So it came as a shock when I got on the bus and had the audacity to ask the woman who always sits at the front if she could move her light work bag for me to sit down. She huffed and puffed before mumbling something incomprehensible and thrusting her bag on the floor. I mean, she doesn't have a rental contract on that particular double-seat, and I need it more than her - she's so small, she could easily sit further back. Needless to say, she has not said a word to me since. There is a guy with extra long legs who deserves it much more than she does. Furthermore, that place is one of only three spots on the bus where I can put my work bag with all my books in it without taking up a seat which another passenger might need - it has extra room for luggage. One of the other two, just behind the middle door, is occupied by an enormous woman who needs two spaces anyway, and the last place is at the back where there is no light to read my book.
Opposite her, behind the driver, there is a further possibility, but the guy with long legs sits there when this other woman I mentioned steals his spot. The 157 bus from Saarburg to Luxembourg is full of little political quirks like this. My theory is these people are middle-class, and want to feel rewarded for leaving their cars at home. They feel they are owed a prize for being so green. The woman at the front obviously drives a car and treats it, like the rest of those car-driving individualists, like a cocoon, a four-wheeled haven in which she can block out those irritating other people who seem to be in her way. She should go back to the car, if you ask me.
Thursday, 21 October 2010
Friday, 15 October 2010
A time for heroes - Chilean miners and Syrian bears
I was, like a lot of people, keeping an eye on the TV news this week as the 33 miners trapped underground made their escape from a cruel death deep in the Chilean earth, to become (inter)national heroes. Many of them will never have to work again, dining off the book deals and TV, newspaper or magazine features which will already be being worked out.
The BBC was criticised by the Daily Mail for sending 25 staff to cover the event, pushing it to cut down on their reporting budgets for the G20 and Oscars. Well good, I say. There has been so much bad news recently that I for one was overjoyed to tune in and watch the historic moment those men rose to the surface like modern-day Lazaruses (or is it Lazari?), to be greeted by close family members and the odd skeleton in the cupboard. The saga of Yonni Barrios's love life was gripping enough to permit myself to stay up a little later than normal to see his reaction when he climbed out of the capsule, which will one day be hoisted up in the Chilean National Museum. I am not normally a gossip reader but this was different.
It is every man's dream to be a hero one day. For me, the real heroes of this story were the Chilean military personnel, who dreamed up the scheme to drop a capsule down there, put it together along with a lift mechanism and drill out a hole, completing the task as quickly as five weeks ahead of schedule.
But I would like to bring up the truly remarkable story of an unsung war hero called Private Wojciech or Wojtek, enlisted in the Polish 2nd Army Corps, who supported his comrades across the battlefields of the Middle East, northern Africa and southern Italy in the later stages of World War 2. Remarkable because Wojtek was a bear.
In the middle of the war, a Persian boy came across an orphaned bear cub. In the nearby town of Hamadan in Iran, some Polish soldiers were stationed and the boy agreed to sell the bear to them for a couple of days' food. Initially, the bear was fed on condensed milk from a disused vodka bottle as he was still less than one year old. His benign character and playful nature soon won the hearts of the soldiers, becoming a celebrity even to neighbouring garrisons and local people.
He picked up human habits, like smoking and drinking (he loved nothing more than a good beer) although his cigarette consumption still proved he was not totally human as he ate them too. He was fed on sweet produce and slept with the men in their dormitories. When the company moved location, Wojtek went with them in a transport container, and he went through a lot of places - Iraq, Palestine, Egypt and Italy.
According to one account, the army was forbidden from having live mascots, so his company's commanding officers, in that most Polish of ways to find a solution, enlisted him officially in the Polish army, being given the rank of Private. His finest moment came at the horror that was Monte Cassino, when he famously carried crates of ammunition shells for his comrades, not dropping a single one.
His active role was brought to the attention of senior command and it allowed Wojtek's company, then called the 22nd Transport Company to use a bear carrying a shell as its official emblem. His main role though was as a morale booster, and more importantly friend to the soldiers, at once replacing their families, wives, girlfriends and mates back home. He used to wrestle with the soldiers and often made a fool of himself which caused great mirth amongst the men. He wasn't just any old bear though, as he even managed to chase out an enemy spy. Being nearly two metres high and weighing two-and-a-half times that of an average man may have helped, but it shows just how close some members of the animal kingdom can be to us if given the chance.
At the end of the war, the company, bear included, was based near the Berwickshire town of Hutton. Wojtek's final journey was to a specially-built enclosure at Edinburgh Zoo, where he lived out his final days in well-earned retirement. Aileen Orr, the granddaughter of one of the Polish soldiers, visited the zoo one day with a Polish friend. When Wojtek heard her speaking Polish, he waved to them both, causing Aileen to have a life-long fascination for him. She wrote a book entitled "Wojtek the Bear: Polish War Hero" and along with the Cardinal of Edinburgh, the Lord Provost and the former governor of Edinburgh Castle, she has been campaigining to have a statue put up in the city in memory of this most unusual of war heroes. It will also be a memorial in recognition of the enormously important Polish contribution to the Allied victory.
Wojtek was a much-loved resident of Edinburgh Zoo right up until his death in December 1963.
He wanted for nothing and was looked after by an ex-soldier. Discussions are taking place about where in Edinburgh to erect his statue.
Saturday, 2 October 2010
What is the greatest nation in the world?
What is the best country in the world?
Surveys are made by newspapers and magazines on the subject. TV documentaries are broadcast showing people's opinions. Newsweek even put out a thirty-page spread about it. But these types of surveys don't talk about the real question: what is the greatest country in the world?
Firstly we need some criteria. So we must look at the country's history - what is the point of a greatest country without a full story behind it? Then we should look at its people, who will of course have a collective memory, a rough stereotypical peculiarity and a thriving culture, all shaped by its history. Finally, we should look at its present. How is it now? Is it a successful nation or just plodding along? Are there many things to ascribe greatness to it in the present day?
So, let's look at the candidates:
1. France
History - Solid beginnings, lost their way when dealing with the monarchy. Replaced kings (beheaded) with the same kind of thing but not (always) born in a palace (see here). Got ever so tetchy about being only the second or third largest empire in the 19th century and was doubly upset by being invaded in the mid-20th and having to be rescued by their old rivals. Twice.
People stereotype - food, strikes, attitude and hygiene issues. Mainly socialist in public and conservative in private. Good films, bad TV. Most of it summed up by this man here.
How now? - see here.
Chances of winning accolade: - I won't be hanging out the Tricolor any time soon...
2. The USA
History - Completely missed out on the Renaissance due to not yet existing. Once established, went around charging other countries extortionate fees for rescuing them from Nazism and Communism before electing a series of baboons as leaders and invading a host of independent nations if they had differing views to those held by their chief monkey. The whole country is held together by glossy magazine celebrities.
People stereotype - Gullible, trigger-happy religious fanatics with a penchant for only seeing the world in black or white. Four legs good, two legs bad, size also matters here.
How now? - Most have no idea of the difference between what's right and what saves a few bucksworth of tax per year.
Chances of winning accolade - No chance, unless they ban oil drilling and propping up despotic régimes, renounce their addiction to money and put out a decent cricketing team.
3. China
History - Despite inventing a whole load of clever technical stuff whilst we Europeans were still swinging about in trees, lost the plot fairly early on through obsession with self-image and pageant, getting by with a vague change in the standard of civilisation each century until the mid-20th century, when after overthrowing four thousand years of Empire, the country was set back yet another thousand years by misguided ideologists who liked to take whole crowds for long walks. Only in the 21st century have they reached the point where they have to share the status of biggest economy in the world, but in the leagues of spreading human indignity and suffering, lack of care for the environment and lack of morals will always remain first. And considering this planet contains such barbaric places as Zimbabwe, Burma and North Korea, that takes some beating. Came of age at their Olympic Games in 2008, which were big on impressive technicalities and tiny on heart.
People stereotype - Don't ask - you'll get the same answer: "we're all happy and we love our country. And weren't the Olympics fantastic?" Mmmyesss.... Although if you turned the corner in Beijing, you wouldn't have known they were taking place.
How now? - Busy buying up minerals to sell to us when we run out, cosying up to dictators who can provide the elite classes with wealth beyond even Westerners' dreams, and destroying whole swathes of their own countryside with grand architectural projects to "civilise" their rural population.
Chances - About as slim as my chances of becoming next Pope. Will maybe be the biggest in everything one day not so far in the future, but never, ever the best. Ever.
4. Germany
History - Feuding princes and lords set about expansion in Europe quite early, developing a penchant for it. Did it every few decades or so. Country oddly disunited until the 19th century when someone had the brilliant idea of putting it together politically. A certain indiscretion in the middle of the 20th century sent this country's candidature to the back of the queue (except China) but its modern-day image is very good and continually rising.
People stereotype - Either über-efficient, über-capable and always blasting opponents off the football pitch, or sausage-munching, beer-swilling Lederhosen-wearing yodelers who drive at excessive speeds on Autobahns in their still German-owned cars.
How now? - A country at ease with itself these days, although still having trouble with foreigners (mainly French politicians and Austrian or Dutch maverick speakers), but still capable of impressing us with its stable economy and smaller but still thriving industrial base. "Made in Germany" still means something.
Chances - Would have been real contenders but for a slight misunderstanding of the territorial rules of the game of football in the mid-20th century, namely the game is supposed to remain on the same pitch.
5. The UK
History - Got invaded once by some angry Norman guy and didn't really enjoy the experience. Spent the next thousand years atoning for it by going off elsewhere so when invasion almost happened again, traded in their status of largest empire to keep their independence, only to immediately trade it in again for an equal share in a huge political pie with the very people they had only recently tried to fight off. Very dodgy infrastructure due to being the oldest industrialised nation. Has a language everyone speaks badly, and a reputation for the exportation of awful reality TV.
People stereotype - Badly dressed, or over-dressed, tea-drinking, umbrella-obsessed, aridly sober or gutter-crawlingly drunk, seagoing individuals who invent amazing stuff in sheds and queue up for the chance to get on overcrowded trains.
How now? - Refreshingly different to everyone else, although this may be its problem. The country was in the process of reinventing itself through the power of taking away from the people its centuries-old faithfulness to civil liberties, replacing the friendly policeman with a camera on every building. That was, until the 2010 election, whose outcome fortunately may have caused the reversal of this disturbing trend. Still the benchmark when it comes to innovation and invention (if the Chinese don't steal it and patent it).
Chances - Strongest contender so far, and not because I'm one of them.
But..........
I'd like to consider a dark horse in this contest, a country which if it were human you'd probably not notice, sitting there in its quiet corner being busily occupied with the continent's plumbing and electricity. This contender is entrant number
6. Poland
History - After driving out the Hungarians, the Germans, the Austrians, the Russians, the French, the Prussians and even the mighty Swedes over centuries and centuries of invasion from north, south, east and west, this prized strategic area of land had a powerful influence on early democracy. It was the object of the desires of the leader of our candidate number 4 in the middle of the 20th century. After suffering from the most abysmal atrocities it was saved by a neighbouring country which then occupied it for the next 45 years, subjecting it to humiliating acts of subservience from time to time. This did not stop the people from rising up against them in brave acts of defiance. Was quickly accepted into the EU after the fall of its occupiers, now one of the most respected members of its new family of nations, contributing a compatriot to be European Parliament President. Due to its people's practical skills, is well on the way to being the most needed nationality in Europe.
People stereotype - People speak a fairytale language full of tricky fricatives and nasal vowels, but "you have a leaky tap? No problem, my cousin Wojciech will fix it for you for a reasonable price and a happy smile on his face." For a nation that has endured so much, the fact they have such a happy attitude and a proper sense of community still, signifies something much deeper than what lies on the surface.
How now? - Although still has some catching up to do, the fact it has survived its centuries of invasion and reinvasion, occupation and destruction, it is a country at peace with itself. Despite not having many motorways, has some of the best driving roads in the world and gives ordinary visitors the kind of welcome reserved for princes elsewhere.
Chances - Maybe, just maybe...
I can't think of any other decent contenders.
Surveys are made by newspapers and magazines on the subject. TV documentaries are broadcast showing people's opinions. Newsweek even put out a thirty-page spread about it. But these types of surveys don't talk about the real question: what is the greatest country in the world?
Firstly we need some criteria. So we must look at the country's history - what is the point of a greatest country without a full story behind it? Then we should look at its people, who will of course have a collective memory, a rough stereotypical peculiarity and a thriving culture, all shaped by its history. Finally, we should look at its present. How is it now? Is it a successful nation or just plodding along? Are there many things to ascribe greatness to it in the present day?
So, let's look at the candidates:
1. France
History - Solid beginnings, lost their way when dealing with the monarchy. Replaced kings (beheaded) with the same kind of thing but not (always) born in a palace (see here). Got ever so tetchy about being only the second or third largest empire in the 19th century and was doubly upset by being invaded in the mid-20th and having to be rescued by their old rivals. Twice.
People stereotype - food, strikes, attitude and hygiene issues. Mainly socialist in public and conservative in private. Good films, bad TV. Most of it summed up by this man here.
How now? - see here.
Chances of winning accolade: - I won't be hanging out the Tricolor any time soon...
2. The USA
History - Completely missed out on the Renaissance due to not yet existing. Once established, went around charging other countries extortionate fees for rescuing them from Nazism and Communism before electing a series of baboons as leaders and invading a host of independent nations if they had differing views to those held by their chief monkey. The whole country is held together by glossy magazine celebrities.
People stereotype - Gullible, trigger-happy religious fanatics with a penchant for only seeing the world in black or white. Four legs good, two legs bad, size also matters here.
How now? - Most have no idea of the difference between what's right and what saves a few bucksworth of tax per year.
Chances of winning accolade - No chance, unless they ban oil drilling and propping up despotic régimes, renounce their addiction to money and put out a decent cricketing team.
3. China
History - Despite inventing a whole load of clever technical stuff whilst we Europeans were still swinging about in trees, lost the plot fairly early on through obsession with self-image and pageant, getting by with a vague change in the standard of civilisation each century until the mid-20th century, when after overthrowing four thousand years of Empire, the country was set back yet another thousand years by misguided ideologists who liked to take whole crowds for long walks. Only in the 21st century have they reached the point where they have to share the status of biggest economy in the world, but in the leagues of spreading human indignity and suffering, lack of care for the environment and lack of morals will always remain first. And considering this planet contains such barbaric places as Zimbabwe, Burma and North Korea, that takes some beating. Came of age at their Olympic Games in 2008, which were big on impressive technicalities and tiny on heart.
People stereotype - Don't ask - you'll get the same answer: "we're all happy and we love our country. And weren't the Olympics fantastic?" Mmmyesss.... Although if you turned the corner in Beijing, you wouldn't have known they were taking place.
How now? - Busy buying up minerals to sell to us when we run out, cosying up to dictators who can provide the elite classes with wealth beyond even Westerners' dreams, and destroying whole swathes of their own countryside with grand architectural projects to "civilise" their rural population.
Chances - About as slim as my chances of becoming next Pope. Will maybe be the biggest in everything one day not so far in the future, but never, ever the best. Ever.
4. Germany
History - Feuding princes and lords set about expansion in Europe quite early, developing a penchant for it. Did it every few decades or so. Country oddly disunited until the 19th century when someone had the brilliant idea of putting it together politically. A certain indiscretion in the middle of the 20th century sent this country's candidature to the back of the queue (except China) but its modern-day image is very good and continually rising.
People stereotype - Either über-efficient, über-capable and always blasting opponents off the football pitch, or sausage-munching, beer-swilling Lederhosen-wearing yodelers who drive at excessive speeds on Autobahns in their still German-owned cars.
How now? - A country at ease with itself these days, although still having trouble with foreigners (mainly French politicians and Austrian or Dutch maverick speakers), but still capable of impressing us with its stable economy and smaller but still thriving industrial base. "Made in Germany" still means something.
Chances - Would have been real contenders but for a slight misunderstanding of the territorial rules of the game of football in the mid-20th century, namely the game is supposed to remain on the same pitch.
5. The UK
History - Got invaded once by some angry Norman guy and didn't really enjoy the experience. Spent the next thousand years atoning for it by going off elsewhere so when invasion almost happened again, traded in their status of largest empire to keep their independence, only to immediately trade it in again for an equal share in a huge political pie with the very people they had only recently tried to fight off. Very dodgy infrastructure due to being the oldest industrialised nation. Has a language everyone speaks badly, and a reputation for the exportation of awful reality TV.
People stereotype - Badly dressed, or over-dressed, tea-drinking, umbrella-obsessed, aridly sober or gutter-crawlingly drunk, seagoing individuals who invent amazing stuff in sheds and queue up for the chance to get on overcrowded trains.
How now? - Refreshingly different to everyone else, although this may be its problem. The country was in the process of reinventing itself through the power of taking away from the people its centuries-old faithfulness to civil liberties, replacing the friendly policeman with a camera on every building. That was, until the 2010 election, whose outcome fortunately may have caused the reversal of this disturbing trend. Still the benchmark when it comes to innovation and invention (if the Chinese don't steal it and patent it).
Chances - Strongest contender so far, and not because I'm one of them.
But..........
I'd like to consider a dark horse in this contest, a country which if it were human you'd probably not notice, sitting there in its quiet corner being busily occupied with the continent's plumbing and electricity. This contender is entrant number
6. Poland
History - After driving out the Hungarians, the Germans, the Austrians, the Russians, the French, the Prussians and even the mighty Swedes over centuries and centuries of invasion from north, south, east and west, this prized strategic area of land had a powerful influence on early democracy. It was the object of the desires of the leader of our candidate number 4 in the middle of the 20th century. After suffering from the most abysmal atrocities it was saved by a neighbouring country which then occupied it for the next 45 years, subjecting it to humiliating acts of subservience from time to time. This did not stop the people from rising up against them in brave acts of defiance. Was quickly accepted into the EU after the fall of its occupiers, now one of the most respected members of its new family of nations, contributing a compatriot to be European Parliament President. Due to its people's practical skills, is well on the way to being the most needed nationality in Europe.
People stereotype - People speak a fairytale language full of tricky fricatives and nasal vowels, but "you have a leaky tap? No problem, my cousin Wojciech will fix it for you for a reasonable price and a happy smile on his face." For a nation that has endured so much, the fact they have such a happy attitude and a proper sense of community still, signifies something much deeper than what lies on the surface.
How now? - Although still has some catching up to do, the fact it has survived its centuries of invasion and reinvasion, occupation and destruction, it is a country at peace with itself. Despite not having many motorways, has some of the best driving roads in the world and gives ordinary visitors the kind of welcome reserved for princes elsewhere.
Chances - Maybe, just maybe...
I can't think of any other decent contenders.
Sunday, 28 March 2010
Let's not be beastly to the English
All successful people are targets for being shot down by their detractors and those who are jealous of them. It has happened to me recently by certain self-important busybodies at a university where I was until recently injecting some badly-needed motivation and charisma into their rather humdrum, banal and ineffective courses. Some just didn't like the fact that I had a good relationship with the students and that my courses were over-subscribed. Oh yes, and one of the lesser staff members (whose whole philosophy on life is already a little backward-thinking) was investigating my private life, trying to find something to prove I was unsuitable for the position. Eventually they got me on the fact that I didn't have the word "doctor" before my name... As if a higher qualification matters to the overall ability to train and nurture 90 university undergraduates. All the qualifications in the universe do not make a good coach. I wrote a departure letter to my colleagues and left them to stew in their own self-obsessed juices. Still, whatever floats their boat.
And now, to my disbelief, I need to come to the aid of a group of people whom I have not considered to be a part of, but are the indigenous tribe to the place I was born, the English. I have forever classed myself as a British citizen. I think the word "British" is an inclusive, universal term for people who live in the British Isles and even beyond. You can be Scottish first and British second, or the other way round. Same for English, Welsh and dare I say Irish. But you can also be Jamaican and British, Kenyan and British, Canadian and British, Pakistani and British and even Polish and British, why not? It is an advantage we have over other countries in Europe, and makes us more ethnically versatile, tolerant and multi-faceted than the United States.
And this is why I consider it a crying shame that now the English (let's face it, the central pivots on whom their co-inhabitants spin) are feeling threatened, intimidated, spurned and unloved in their own backyard as well as far away.
There is firstly the West Lothian Question, the term coined by Enoch Powell about the paradox that Welsh, Scottish and Northern Irish MPs in Westminster have as much say over what happens in England as an English MP, but the same is not afforded to the English themselves as their own local questions are debated in Cardiff, Edinburgh and Stormont. This was tolerated until recently but more and more English people are becoming disenchanted with this situation. Why can that be?
It is simple. For ages now, the Scottish have always enjoyed support from the other Home Nations when competing in sports tournaments. The same for Wales and Northern Ireland, but the English have always been out on their own. This year, one Edinburgh company has made some t-shirts for the World Cup called "ABE", meaning "Anyone But England", a blatant message to those down south about where the Scottish loyalties lie. The English kind of know who they are and are quite comfortable with this, unlike the other areas of the UK, so they could swallow this type of tongue-in-cheek banter.
But the fact that the English are starting to feel that the Scottish are creaming state funds away from English areas to support their own projects, with a cry of indignation and a new round of discussions over independence if they don't get their wish is making the average English a little tired of the continual barrage of anti-Sassenach rhetoric. Taking into account that a person resident in Scotland can go to any university in the UK for free whilst English residents must pay (often running into ten thousand pounds of debt) is forcing English hearts to turn to stone.
And who can blame them?
But it is not just the Scots who are cranking up the anti-English sentiment. The Australians are playing their part too. In the recent Olympic Games in Beijing, the Australians fell behind the British in terms of medals and that made them determined to do something about it. So, as the British won a lot of cycling medals, the Australians have invested hundreds of thousands of their Australian dollars into building up their cycling unit, to the extent that only two years later they have gained three times more medals at the World Cycling Championships as the British team. OK, this is aimed at the British in general, but deep in their minds, it is because the English make up most of the team. The truth of this can be seen in the final of the Australian Open tennis in Melbourne, where the crowd took to singing support for Andy Murray. When asked why this should be so, many said because he's a non-English, English speaker, and therefore one of them.
How cynical.
So, let me tell you this: I have always stuck up for the underdog, if the cause was justified. That means even French and Russians, Poles and Americans, when being needlessly picked upon. The English have put up with others' detractions for a long time but nobody has defended them. This has caused a notable rise in the amount of English people who, even only ten years ago would have never considered the dissolution of the United Kingdom, see it as a necessary step in their rights to reclaim some dignity. You can impose yourself on one nation's hospitality and tolerance for only so long, before they tell you to go off and bother someone else. That is where England happens to be today.
Beware, the Scottish National Party, you may just get your wish, and then who will subsidise your lavishly extravagant social democratic state?
Reasons to be proud of being British:
1. The BBC.2. The tolerance and open-mindedness afforded to all-comers of any nation if they are prepared to work.
3. Religious freedom, even to the point of being over-tolerant to fundamentalists.
4. British philanthropy and charity rundraising - Comic Relief, Sport Relief, Band Aid, eccentric events and feats to raise money for worthy causes.
5. Christie, Hardy, Thomas, Burns, Austen, Rowling, Pratchett, Bateman, McDermid, etc...
6. John Cleese, Rowan Atkinson, Billy Connolly, Dawn French, Tommy Cooper, etc...
7. Sir Chris Hoy, Jenson Button, Gareth Edwards, George Best, Ryan Giggs, Sir Steve Redgrave.
8. The pound Sterling.
9. The Commonwealth.
10. The English language.
11. Keynes, Rutherford, Newton, Macadam, Darwin, Berners Lee, Brunel, Adams, etc...
12. Flower of Scotland, Land of my Fathers, Danny Boy, Land of Hope and Glory
13. The Sunday trip to the garden centre
14. Womens' Institute, Scouts, Girl Guides, Salvation Army, etc...
15. Rugby, Curling, Tennis, Golf, Snooker, Badminton, Bobsleigh, Cricket, Darts, Table Tennis.
16. Sir Mick Jagger, Sir Elton John, Sir Paul McCartney, Sir Tom Jones
17. The Industrial Revolution.
18. Common Law and precedence
19. Sir Winston Churchill, Clement Attlee, Margaret Thatcher, Benjamin Disraeli
20. Fair play.
These are just some reasons why we should be immensely proud of our heritage, why we need to put our differences behind us and start working again as a team. Because although the British saved the world from the ravages of totalitarianism, nobody will save her from herself.
And now, to my disbelief, I need to come to the aid of a group of people whom I have not considered to be a part of, but are the indigenous tribe to the place I was born, the English. I have forever classed myself as a British citizen. I think the word "British" is an inclusive, universal term for people who live in the British Isles and even beyond. You can be Scottish first and British second, or the other way round. Same for English, Welsh and dare I say Irish. But you can also be Jamaican and British, Kenyan and British, Canadian and British, Pakistani and British and even Polish and British, why not? It is an advantage we have over other countries in Europe, and makes us more ethnically versatile, tolerant and multi-faceted than the United States.
And this is why I consider it a crying shame that now the English (let's face it, the central pivots on whom their co-inhabitants spin) are feeling threatened, intimidated, spurned and unloved in their own backyard as well as far away.
There is firstly the West Lothian Question, the term coined by Enoch Powell about the paradox that Welsh, Scottish and Northern Irish MPs in Westminster have as much say over what happens in England as an English MP, but the same is not afforded to the English themselves as their own local questions are debated in Cardiff, Edinburgh and Stormont. This was tolerated until recently but more and more English people are becoming disenchanted with this situation. Why can that be?
It is simple. For ages now, the Scottish have always enjoyed support from the other Home Nations when competing in sports tournaments. The same for Wales and Northern Ireland, but the English have always been out on their own. This year, one Edinburgh company has made some t-shirts for the World Cup called "ABE", meaning "Anyone But England", a blatant message to those down south about where the Scottish loyalties lie. The English kind of know who they are and are quite comfortable with this, unlike the other areas of the UK, so they could swallow this type of tongue-in-cheek banter.
But the fact that the English are starting to feel that the Scottish are creaming state funds away from English areas to support their own projects, with a cry of indignation and a new round of discussions over independence if they don't get their wish is making the average English a little tired of the continual barrage of anti-Sassenach rhetoric. Taking into account that a person resident in Scotland can go to any university in the UK for free whilst English residents must pay (often running into ten thousand pounds of debt) is forcing English hearts to turn to stone.
And who can blame them?
But it is not just the Scots who are cranking up the anti-English sentiment. The Australians are playing their part too. In the recent Olympic Games in Beijing, the Australians fell behind the British in terms of medals and that made them determined to do something about it. So, as the British won a lot of cycling medals, the Australians have invested hundreds of thousands of their Australian dollars into building up their cycling unit, to the extent that only two years later they have gained three times more medals at the World Cycling Championships as the British team. OK, this is aimed at the British in general, but deep in their minds, it is because the English make up most of the team. The truth of this can be seen in the final of the Australian Open tennis in Melbourne, where the crowd took to singing support for Andy Murray. When asked why this should be so, many said because he's a non-English, English speaker, and therefore one of them.
How cynical.
So, let me tell you this: I have always stuck up for the underdog, if the cause was justified. That means even French and Russians, Poles and Americans, when being needlessly picked upon. The English have put up with others' detractions for a long time but nobody has defended them. This has caused a notable rise in the amount of English people who, even only ten years ago would have never considered the dissolution of the United Kingdom, see it as a necessary step in their rights to reclaim some dignity. You can impose yourself on one nation's hospitality and tolerance for only so long, before they tell you to go off and bother someone else. That is where England happens to be today.
Beware, the Scottish National Party, you may just get your wish, and then who will subsidise your lavishly extravagant social democratic state?
Reasons to be proud of being British:
1. The BBC.2. The tolerance and open-mindedness afforded to all-comers of any nation if they are prepared to work.
3. Religious freedom, even to the point of being over-tolerant to fundamentalists.
4. British philanthropy and charity rundraising - Comic Relief, Sport Relief, Band Aid, eccentric events and feats to raise money for worthy causes.
5. Christie, Hardy, Thomas, Burns, Austen, Rowling, Pratchett, Bateman, McDermid, etc...
6. John Cleese, Rowan Atkinson, Billy Connolly, Dawn French, Tommy Cooper, etc...
7. Sir Chris Hoy, Jenson Button, Gareth Edwards, George Best, Ryan Giggs, Sir Steve Redgrave.
8. The pound Sterling.
9. The Commonwealth.
10. The English language.
11. Keynes, Rutherford, Newton, Macadam, Darwin, Berners Lee, Brunel, Adams, etc...
12. Flower of Scotland, Land of my Fathers, Danny Boy, Land of Hope and Glory
13. The Sunday trip to the garden centre
14. Womens' Institute, Scouts, Girl Guides, Salvation Army, etc...
15. Rugby, Curling, Tennis, Golf, Snooker, Badminton, Bobsleigh, Cricket, Darts, Table Tennis.
16. Sir Mick Jagger, Sir Elton John, Sir Paul McCartney, Sir Tom Jones
17. The Industrial Revolution.
18. Common Law and precedence
19. Sir Winston Churchill, Clement Attlee, Margaret Thatcher, Benjamin Disraeli
20. Fair play.
These are just some reasons why we should be immensely proud of our heritage, why we need to put our differences behind us and start working again as a team. Because although the British saved the world from the ravages of totalitarianism, nobody will save her from herself.
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Coming out of the (broom) closet
I think it's about time I let you into a secret. I am a practising Pagan. I have been for nearly three years now, and I don't think I will ever go back to the mysogynistic, male-centric, patriarchal religion I was duped into believing as a child (duped not by my parents, I hasten to add).
Paganism comes in many forms: it is a free-thinking religion. There are many core beliefs which most Pagans adhere to, but on the whole, it is a pretty diverse crowd of people that are involved in it.
Ages Old:
Paganism is older than many people care to think - it stems from pre-historic times and has taken on various forms throughout history, some as insults by members of new religions, some as code names in times of the rise of Christianity's pious leaders who tried to do away with the old ways. Witch. Wise Woman. Druid. Pagan.
The Insult That Became Fashionable:
The word "Pagan" itself is supposed to come from the French word "paysan", or "peasant" in English. The gentrified city folk in the Middle Ages were often God-fearing, French-speaking
Christians and wanted to label the country-dwellers, who often adhered to the old religion, with something insulting and demeaning. So labelling them peasants was one way. They often had red faces due to their winter-scarred skin and many had long implements they used for their occupation, maybe brooms or pitchforks or scythes. And here lies the myth about the devil. The urban Christian priests used to condition their students that the devil was in those people and this was evident in these analogies.
The sure way to tell a Pagan is by the horned animal (the male symbol) they would place in a visible location and use in ceremonies. This is where the idea of the devil with horns comes about. So as you see, with the full might of the Roman Catholic Church attacking them, our predecessors had it tough.
The strange thing is that although the word "Pagan" has dubious origins, it is now one of the main names we call ourselves with.
Mistaken Identity:
We have many annoying stereotypes which follow us around: we're supposed to be long-haired, long-bearded bards with a love of lurid naked dancing and wild sex in the forest. The truth is, I wear a shirt and tie to work and prefer a ceremonial cloak to cover my nakedness. Wild sex is an optional extra (joke). Truth is, most of us do have an area we are interested in. For some it is natural medicine, for some it is philosophy, for some art and crafts, for some music, for others it is advice. I specialise in advice and art.
Beliefs - Look Down
Another myth about the place "Hell" occupies is that it is under the Earth. Another cunning spin from the Catholic propaganda machine. We Pagans don't look up to a god for our inspiration; we look down. Not to Hell, whose existence we don't even acknowledge. We look down to the Earth, the great life-giving planet bumbling through the Solar System. We look at Her abilities to regenerate, to give us the resources needed to survive on Her surface. We wonder at the small things all around. A cat as a whole is a lovely creature. But look closely at the fur, at the nose, at the shape of the ears, and you see why every aspect of Mother Earth's contents should make us want more and more to nurture and sustain what is left in this age of mass de-forestation, urbanisation and economisation.
Beliefs - Global Warming?
Many Pagans believe global warming to be a reality. Many believe the Earth is an intelligent organism capable of giving coded messages to those on Her surface. I fall into the second category, and although I believe in the fact that the planet is in peril, I prefer not to call the process global warming, but meteorological extremification.
There are now on Earth more people alive than people who have lived and died since the Phoenicians started to write. When we move, in transport or just walking, we create heat. Our office blocks generate heat through air conditioning, server use, computer use, heating and anything else in there plugged into the mains. Our homes generate heat when we cook, when we switch on the boiler, when we turn on the radiators, when we play games on the Wii, when we run a bath. A thousand years ago, one house here and there would have had no effect. In fact, right up until the Industrial Revolution reached the USA and even beyond, we were probably doing OK. But now, with us almost unable to go anywhere on the planet without encountering another human being, the Earth is getting a bit fed up.
On top of this, the trend towards a warmer planet is evident whether we were there or now, but we are accelerating this by being so numerous. The Earth is intelligent. She has a thermostat. In the summer of 2003, Europe was barbecued by three months of unbroken sunshine. I was lucky enough to be between jobs and took full advantage of it. But for the summers since then, we have been mostly subjected to temperate, cloudy, rainy affairs in the bulk of the normally hot summers. She is not stupid, our Earth!
We can point towards many phenomena which have occurred probably as a warning to us: earthquakes (see previous post), melting glaciers and ice caps, species suddenly dying out and others thriving, often in unusual places (insects making it much further north, for example). We need to cut certain things out of our lives to slow the process down.
Beliefs - Matriarchal Society:
Our rejection of the man as only rightful head of the family/clan is well-documented, and for good reason: look at the world around you. It is a man-made world, and I use the words wisely. Politics, war, sport, architecture, science, religion, to name a few - these are male-dominated areas. They are not all bad, that is not what I am saying: I merely wish to point out that these areas are male-specific. They could have had many more females in them if the Judaeo-Roman ideology of "strength = power" were not so inherent in our society, even in our enlightened times. Some religions promote male-only heads, stating that the female is too wishy-washy, too capricious to lead or to conduct serious research. Tell that to Margaret Thatcher or Marie Curie. It is a nonsense. Women have just not been given a proper chance.
Beliefs - Not Feminist But Feministic
And here is the main theme here: feminism was the worst thing to happen to the re-establishment of women in all areas of modern society. It made men, and traditionalist women, look down on feminism with such distain that it could have set the agenda back 20 years. Things could have happened much faster had feminists not made a point of making themselves look ridiculous by their often unrealistic demands and bra-burning rants, broadcast to millions, which instantly put most people off the idea.
Fortunately, in this new age, equality means a lot for our society, and most women know in a more dignified, confident manner who they are without the help of the feminists. In this new era of prudence and re-establishment of traditional ideals and family life, this period of coming down off the post-war cloud of decadence and hubris, the family is once again taking centre stage, the childhood stability offered by loving parents is a meaningful and honourable reason for bringing our world full-circle, back to its origins: the mother in her vital central role.
The seasons and their connection to woman:
The seasons of our temperate northern climate also share an important bond with the symbolism of womanhood.
Winter: Our year begins on the night of 31 October-1 November, when we experience the advent of winter, a time of reflection and inner contemplation. At the darkest point of the winter we celebrate, lighting fires and erecting a tree with decoration and light to drive off the negative feelings and bad spirits, welcoming in the period of the Sun, symbol of light, heat and masculinity, the fertiliser. The symbolic woman is still very young.
Spring: The arrival of spring is a joyous occasion, a period when the female is still a girl child, blooming into an adolescent and then a fully adult young woman. The flowers, animals and surroundings all suit the idea of fertility and growth. That is, until the arrival of summer.
Summer: This is when the female is a fully fertaile woman, a child-bearer, a giver of life. All around, life seems to be thriving, all around creatures reap the benefits of a plentiful supply of food, as if the mother has provided it for us. Midsummer is the time the sun starts to take longer to come up, but the preparation made by the introduction of spring and summer nurturing means life can go on much longer.
Autumn: The woman is becoming old, the days are getting shorter. She is a lot wiser, having experienced it all. The leaves are falling from the trees, the nuts are being gathered by the forest creatures. People harvest the fields and orchards to stock up for winter, and slowly the woman goes red, orange, then grey, then white. This is the moon time. Although the moon time started in mid-June, it is in September than it comes in earnest.
This is a shortened form of the cycle, but I hope it explained a few things. This is why places like Stonehenge and Avebury have lunar and solar calculations written into them. This is what they were for: deciding when the seasons changed and when certain agricultural tasks were necessary.
The Gods:
We do not believe in one god or one goddess, but in a series of gods and goddesses building up to a whole. This does not mean we see them in the same way as the Abrahamic God(s), or in the same way as the Greeks and Romans, with their myths and fables. We see the divine in small things, which form a huge entirety. We give thanks for the small things and salute them. We look after the small things in nature so they look after us. The large things in nature will then gain strength. This is why wine can gain in quality, through this process. This is why meat is much tastier if the animal is happy and well-fed in life. In total though, there are two main goddesses: the Earth and the Moon, and one main god, the Sun. Other planets and stars naturally form links to the seasons here on Earth.
Being a Pagan:
You don't need formal training to be a Pagan. You should not be weighed down by inhibitions, conventions and ideologies to be a Pagan. You don't need to have a supernatural talent to be a Pagan. You must not be self-righteous or opinionated. You just need:
Paganism comes in many forms: it is a free-thinking religion. There are many core beliefs which most Pagans adhere to, but on the whole, it is a pretty diverse crowd of people that are involved in it.
Ages Old:
Paganism is older than many people care to think - it stems from pre-historic times and has taken on various forms throughout history, some as insults by members of new religions, some as code names in times of the rise of Christianity's pious leaders who tried to do away with the old ways. Witch. Wise Woman. Druid. Pagan.
The Insult That Became Fashionable:
The word "Pagan" itself is supposed to come from the French word "paysan", or "peasant" in English. The gentrified city folk in the Middle Ages were often God-fearing, French-speaking
Christians and wanted to label the country-dwellers, who often adhered to the old religion, with something insulting and demeaning. So labelling them peasants was one way. They often had red faces due to their winter-scarred skin and many had long implements they used for their occupation, maybe brooms or pitchforks or scythes. And here lies the myth about the devil. The urban Christian priests used to condition their students that the devil was in those people and this was evident in these analogies.
The sure way to tell a Pagan is by the horned animal (the male symbol) they would place in a visible location and use in ceremonies. This is where the idea of the devil with horns comes about. So as you see, with the full might of the Roman Catholic Church attacking them, our predecessors had it tough.
The strange thing is that although the word "Pagan" has dubious origins, it is now one of the main names we call ourselves with.
Mistaken Identity:
We have many annoying stereotypes which follow us around: we're supposed to be long-haired, long-bearded bards with a love of lurid naked dancing and wild sex in the forest. The truth is, I wear a shirt and tie to work and prefer a ceremonial cloak to cover my nakedness. Wild sex is an optional extra (joke). Truth is, most of us do have an area we are interested in. For some it is natural medicine, for some it is philosophy, for some art and crafts, for some music, for others it is advice. I specialise in advice and art.
Beliefs - Look Down
Another myth about the place "Hell" occupies is that it is under the Earth. Another cunning spin from the Catholic propaganda machine. We Pagans don't look up to a god for our inspiration; we look down. Not to Hell, whose existence we don't even acknowledge. We look down to the Earth, the great life-giving planet bumbling through the Solar System. We look at Her abilities to regenerate, to give us the resources needed to survive on Her surface. We wonder at the small things all around. A cat as a whole is a lovely creature. But look closely at the fur, at the nose, at the shape of the ears, and you see why every aspect of Mother Earth's contents should make us want more and more to nurture and sustain what is left in this age of mass de-forestation, urbanisation and economisation.
Beliefs - Global Warming?
Many Pagans believe global warming to be a reality. Many believe the Earth is an intelligent organism capable of giving coded messages to those on Her surface. I fall into the second category, and although I believe in the fact that the planet is in peril, I prefer not to call the process global warming, but meteorological extremification.
There are now on Earth more people alive than people who have lived and died since the Phoenicians started to write. When we move, in transport or just walking, we create heat. Our office blocks generate heat through air conditioning, server use, computer use, heating and anything else in there plugged into the mains. Our homes generate heat when we cook, when we switch on the boiler, when we turn on the radiators, when we play games on the Wii, when we run a bath. A thousand years ago, one house here and there would have had no effect. In fact, right up until the Industrial Revolution reached the USA and even beyond, we were probably doing OK. But now, with us almost unable to go anywhere on the planet without encountering another human being, the Earth is getting a bit fed up.
On top of this, the trend towards a warmer planet is evident whether we were there or now, but we are accelerating this by being so numerous. The Earth is intelligent. She has a thermostat. In the summer of 2003, Europe was barbecued by three months of unbroken sunshine. I was lucky enough to be between jobs and took full advantage of it. But for the summers since then, we have been mostly subjected to temperate, cloudy, rainy affairs in the bulk of the normally hot summers. She is not stupid, our Earth!
We can point towards many phenomena which have occurred probably as a warning to us: earthquakes (see previous post), melting glaciers and ice caps, species suddenly dying out and others thriving, often in unusual places (insects making it much further north, for example). We need to cut certain things out of our lives to slow the process down.
Beliefs - Matriarchal Society:
Our rejection of the man as only rightful head of the family/clan is well-documented, and for good reason: look at the world around you. It is a man-made world, and I use the words wisely. Politics, war, sport, architecture, science, religion, to name a few - these are male-dominated areas. They are not all bad, that is not what I am saying: I merely wish to point out that these areas are male-specific. They could have had many more females in them if the Judaeo-Roman ideology of "strength = power" were not so inherent in our society, even in our enlightened times. Some religions promote male-only heads, stating that the female is too wishy-washy, too capricious to lead or to conduct serious research. Tell that to Margaret Thatcher or Marie Curie. It is a nonsense. Women have just not been given a proper chance.
Beliefs - Not Feminist But Feministic
And here is the main theme here: feminism was the worst thing to happen to the re-establishment of women in all areas of modern society. It made men, and traditionalist women, look down on feminism with such distain that it could have set the agenda back 20 years. Things could have happened much faster had feminists not made a point of making themselves look ridiculous by their often unrealistic demands and bra-burning rants, broadcast to millions, which instantly put most people off the idea.
Fortunately, in this new age, equality means a lot for our society, and most women know in a more dignified, confident manner who they are without the help of the feminists. In this new era of prudence and re-establishment of traditional ideals and family life, this period of coming down off the post-war cloud of decadence and hubris, the family is once again taking centre stage, the childhood stability offered by loving parents is a meaningful and honourable reason for bringing our world full-circle, back to its origins: the mother in her vital central role.
The seasons and their connection to woman:
The seasons of our temperate northern climate also share an important bond with the symbolism of womanhood.
Winter: Our year begins on the night of 31 October-1 November, when we experience the advent of winter, a time of reflection and inner contemplation. At the darkest point of the winter we celebrate, lighting fires and erecting a tree with decoration and light to drive off the negative feelings and bad spirits, welcoming in the period of the Sun, symbol of light, heat and masculinity, the fertiliser. The symbolic woman is still very young.
Spring: The arrival of spring is a joyous occasion, a period when the female is still a girl child, blooming into an adolescent and then a fully adult young woman. The flowers, animals and surroundings all suit the idea of fertility and growth. That is, until the arrival of summer.
Summer: This is when the female is a fully fertaile woman, a child-bearer, a giver of life. All around, life seems to be thriving, all around creatures reap the benefits of a plentiful supply of food, as if the mother has provided it for us. Midsummer is the time the sun starts to take longer to come up, but the preparation made by the introduction of spring and summer nurturing means life can go on much longer.
Autumn: The woman is becoming old, the days are getting shorter. She is a lot wiser, having experienced it all. The leaves are falling from the trees, the nuts are being gathered by the forest creatures. People harvest the fields and orchards to stock up for winter, and slowly the woman goes red, orange, then grey, then white. This is the moon time. Although the moon time started in mid-June, it is in September than it comes in earnest.
This is a shortened form of the cycle, but I hope it explained a few things. This is why places like Stonehenge and Avebury have lunar and solar calculations written into them. This is what they were for: deciding when the seasons changed and when certain agricultural tasks were necessary.
The Gods:
We do not believe in one god or one goddess, but in a series of gods and goddesses building up to a whole. This does not mean we see them in the same way as the Abrahamic God(s), or in the same way as the Greeks and Romans, with their myths and fables. We see the divine in small things, which form a huge entirety. We give thanks for the small things and salute them. We look after the small things in nature so they look after us. The large things in nature will then gain strength. This is why wine can gain in quality, through this process. This is why meat is much tastier if the animal is happy and well-fed in life. In total though, there are two main goddesses: the Earth and the Moon, and one main god, the Sun. Other planets and stars naturally form links to the seasons here on Earth.
Being a Pagan:
You don't need formal training to be a Pagan. You should not be weighed down by inhibitions, conventions and ideologies to be a Pagan. You don't need to have a supernatural talent to be a Pagan. You must not be self-righteous or opinionated. You just need:
- an open mind and heart
- not to be afraid of your body and that of others
- a willingness to observe the Earth and the nature on Her
- to follow your sensitivities and let your emotions and instincts guide you
- a goal to find more of your inner strengths and accept your weaknesses
- a willingness to follow the seasons and the cycle of the sun and the moon
- an openness to a possible supernatural world beyond ours
- a firm understanding of right from wrong
Being a Pagan means there is no overall book as such. Most Pagan beliefs and philosophies have been handed down through the centuries to us from those who went before. We are free to interpret them, and nobody will tell you. Only you yourself can judge, using your innermost instincts and judgements. This is letting the animal in us rise nearer the surface, and all the while being a civilised human being. We need to acknowledge the instinctual part in us. With this, we are able to interpret the future better. Sensitivity and an ability to deduce from a set of circumstances is the secret to successful divination and prediction, not the "conventional" biblical prophecy that certain people try to claim is a God-given gift. It most certainly is not. It is something that requires learning and study, maybe even a lifetime of knowledge-gaining.
Natural/Supernatural?
Many people talk about fairies and pixies, ghosts and spirits. This is another thing which needs answering. I want to concentrate on the fact that we believe very strongly in an afterlife, and some believe in a beforelife too. Many Eastern philosophies and wisdoms transfer themselves into Paganism with ease. The beliefs of reincarnation, is one, and karma is pretty much an integral part of our philosophies. The belief of doing to and having a positive attitude towards not only other people but many things and even concepts (which is where we diversify from Christianity) as we would want for ourselves makes us a very peaceful and contemplative group of people.
Finally...
I would like to finish by making categorically clear that our beliefs are not set in stone, that our conventions do not always fit the average person's ideas on life and personal conduct, and every one of us will have a different belief to another.
Being associated to Paganism is something I take pride in, and something I will not give up so easily. Having made it this far, I realise just how far-sighted I have become, how much easier it is to know if someone is telling the truth or not, and how walking alone in the forest in the still of the night is a frequent pleasure of mine, something others find very difficult to do.
But if you intend no harm, nothing will harm you.
Sunday, 17 January 2010
This week, God finally died.
Once in a generation, there comes an event so horrifying, so mind-bendingly stomach-churning, that you hope it never reveals its ugly head on this earth again.
In the early and mid 20th century, we saw two world wars which thankfully are past us now and almost out of living memory. In the fifties, sixties and early seventies we had the haunting images of those vicious fights over Korea and Vietnam. In the early 21st century we watched in disgust as some monstrous fundamentalists used planes as their weapons to bring down two towers in New York. These five events were brought about by ideology. Although not all religious, ideology has been responsible for the five most unnecessary losses of life in one hundred years. World War 1 was responsible for between 15 and 25 million deaths, World War 2 for up to 70 million. Korea for about 3 million and Vietnam for up to 5 million. This is excluding the Russian Civil War (up to 8.5 million) from 1917 to 1924 and the Second Congolese War of 1998 to 2003 (5 million est).
Ideology, whether over ethnic superiority, political belief or religion, has been responsible for the deaths of over 120 million people in 100 years. The human being is the most destructive, most murderous animal alive. Fighting for ideology is futile in this world though, and always has been, although nobody has noticed it. There is another murderous force, so mighty, it can wipe us out in the space of seconds. It discriminates against no-one and never picks a target. We call it nature. Some call it God.
The search for God is useless because there can be no God. You cannot blame a war on a god, but if there were God, a natural disaster cannot be anyone else's fault but His. And what exactly have the Haitians done to deserve such a battering of these proportions? Haiti was a fairly peace-loving nation of individuals with a strong sense of community, recently tormented by hurricanes, floods and disease. Not to mention an angry run of dictators.
So after all that, why do they deserve such an earthquake which, if it had happened four hundred or more years ago would have been called divine retribution? What would an author of the Bible have made of it? What would God be divinely intervening in down there in Haiti? Why not London's banking zone or Seattle's Microsoft HQ? Surely they deserve it more...?
If there is a God, then "He" sure has some strange ideas about who should get payback. I mean, if God were around, wouldn't He have had a hit-list which would include:
Bankers
Landmine manufacturers
People traffickers
Oil profiteers
Extremists and fundamentalists
Greasy western and northern democratic leaders
Nasty eastern and southern despots?
And wouldn't He try to protect the harmless:
Pacific islanders from sinking
Caribbean islanders from being blasted by hurricanes
Equatorial dwellers from famine
Peasants from starvation
Victims from criminals
People affected by earthquakes?
So if anyone should ever wish to try to convert me to a monotheistic religion, especially one with an ideology that God will protect us, then they are wasting their time with me, because I cannot stomach such dangerous, unrealistic nonsense.
This week, if He ever existed in the first place, God finally died in the hearts of many decent, law-abiding people, in the minds of many charity donors and aid workers. For those poor inhabitants of Haiti, He obviously never wanted to be acknowledged in the first place, let alone worshiped. He has certainly never really been there for us, so why should people still continue this futile belief in Him?
Would the last one to leave the Church please put the lights out?
In the early and mid 20th century, we saw two world wars which thankfully are past us now and almost out of living memory. In the fifties, sixties and early seventies we had the haunting images of those vicious fights over Korea and Vietnam. In the early 21st century we watched in disgust as some monstrous fundamentalists used planes as their weapons to bring down two towers in New York. These five events were brought about by ideology. Although not all religious, ideology has been responsible for the five most unnecessary losses of life in one hundred years. World War 1 was responsible for between 15 and 25 million deaths, World War 2 for up to 70 million. Korea for about 3 million and Vietnam for up to 5 million. This is excluding the Russian Civil War (up to 8.5 million) from 1917 to 1924 and the Second Congolese War of 1998 to 2003 (5 million est).
Ideology, whether over ethnic superiority, political belief or religion, has been responsible for the deaths of over 120 million people in 100 years. The human being is the most destructive, most murderous animal alive. Fighting for ideology is futile in this world though, and always has been, although nobody has noticed it. There is another murderous force, so mighty, it can wipe us out in the space of seconds. It discriminates against no-one and never picks a target. We call it nature. Some call it God.
The search for God is useless because there can be no God. You cannot blame a war on a god, but if there were God, a natural disaster cannot be anyone else's fault but His. And what exactly have the Haitians done to deserve such a battering of these proportions? Haiti was a fairly peace-loving nation of individuals with a strong sense of community, recently tormented by hurricanes, floods and disease. Not to mention an angry run of dictators.
So after all that, why do they deserve such an earthquake which, if it had happened four hundred or more years ago would have been called divine retribution? What would an author of the Bible have made of it? What would God be divinely intervening in down there in Haiti? Why not London's banking zone or Seattle's Microsoft HQ? Surely they deserve it more...?
If there is a God, then "He" sure has some strange ideas about who should get payback. I mean, if God were around, wouldn't He have had a hit-list which would include:
Bankers
Landmine manufacturers
People traffickers
Oil profiteers
Extremists and fundamentalists
Greasy western and northern democratic leaders
Nasty eastern and southern despots?
And wouldn't He try to protect the harmless:
Pacific islanders from sinking
Caribbean islanders from being blasted by hurricanes
Equatorial dwellers from famine
Peasants from starvation
Victims from criminals
People affected by earthquakes?
So if anyone should ever wish to try to convert me to a monotheistic religion, especially one with an ideology that God will protect us, then they are wasting their time with me, because I cannot stomach such dangerous, unrealistic nonsense.
This week, if He ever existed in the first place, God finally died in the hearts of many decent, law-abiding people, in the minds of many charity donors and aid workers. For those poor inhabitants of Haiti, He obviously never wanted to be acknowledged in the first place, let alone worshiped. He has certainly never really been there for us, so why should people still continue this futile belief in Him?
Would the last one to leave the Church please put the lights out?
Saturday, 21 March 2009
How to find your family history
I have just been on a trip back to London for the first time in 8 years. I have been back to visit the UK on numerous occasions, but this time I went as a tourist, and boy does it look good. I can't stand those who talk down the place. It's got more potential than any other city on earth and is, and will always be, this planet's capital.
On a more personal note, the spring sunshine was tremendous, the flowers were in full bloom and the trees were blossoming like adolescent shrubs awaiting full adulthood.
My purpose of visiting was to go to the National Archives in Kew, a place which, when the underground is shut for the weekend, requires a course in mapreading just to locate the place. I have been researching my family history for years, but unfortunately have had little opportunity to do it. At last, a period of time when I have the funds and the time.
We stayed in a delightful bed and (enormous) breakfast just two minutes away with a delightful room containing a bed whose mattress was so thick you couldn't get gamma rays to pass through it and when you lay on it your eyes instantly closed in some deft pavlovian manoeuvre only outdone by the effect of the smell of coffee, which naturally had the opposite effect.
On day one, I spent the morning getting acquainted with the place, learning the ropes and understanding that it wasn't going to reveal some Dan Brown-esque code to th esecret of my family. Chances were, I'd have had a stroke of luck finding anyone in the 1911 census, which was the obvious place to start. But find we did, and we recorded several generations of my paternal grandmother's family. It turns out that she was from a fairly well-to-do lineage.
The afternoon of day one passed quite slowly, trying to trace my grandfather's passage into London in 1915. He was a Russian Pole by nationality, but (and here is where the trail goes cold for now) he was born in Batumi, Georgia, then in the Russian Empire, and his last place of residence was Montréal, Canada. That is going to take quite a bit of unravelling. So, I have a very special footsoldier on the ground in Georgia as you read these lines, who is dedicating days to travelling from Tbilisi to Batumi and back again, a four-hundred kilometre journey, just to check out the records for me. He happens to be a professor of history, presidential medal-winning genealogist and speaker of Georgian, Russian, English and Hungarian. Pretty good credentials, and someone I have the ultimate faith in. If anyone can solve the riddle of my grandfather's birthright then he can. If he is unable to find any trace of him there, I will probably have to go back to Moscow.
Either that, or I will need to contemplate the unthinkable: that he lied about his past. You never know, it might be for a good reason. But I think we're far enough in the future to realise that it has no consequence in the present.
Now stay with me in this next bit: my grandfather made the journey to London on Merchant Navy ships, arriving on 22nd December 1915. He was about 25 years old. Within three years he had swept a married woman with one child off her feet and she had divorced her poor husband, serving King and country in France. The divorce proceedings were quite fiery, especially considering the period in history. Back then it was pretty difficult to get a divorce, and adultery was one of the only ways. It was still a man's world, so once for a woman and she was shelved, whereas a man could do it as often as he liked and only when he became a local scandal maker could the wife divorce him. In my grandmother's case, a child was evidence enough for the divorce.
The rhetoric spewed in the proceedings say, that my grandmother was "guilty of adultery" in "divers (sic) locations". Wow, they really knew how to write seriously in those days.
The second day was spent checking my grandfather's Merchant Navy records. I went through about 400 documents, spread over 8 records and found very little. I need to return there in the coming months.
The Eurostar terminal at St Pancras is a delight. You really feel like you're going on a great journey when you arrive there. It sort of harks back to the glory days of rail travel: the great old iron and glass roof, the iron pillars and the brickwork on the cathedral-like station make it a pleasure, despite the bustling concourse full of shops.
So, finally, I have decided that the following course of action needs to be taken to get to the secret of my grandfather's ancestry: I am going to Marseille soon, Poland soon after, and I will take my main holidays in Georgia if the professor comes up with some interesting evidence.
On a more personal note, the spring sunshine was tremendous, the flowers were in full bloom and the trees were blossoming like adolescent shrubs awaiting full adulthood.
My purpose of visiting was to go to the National Archives in Kew, a place which, when the underground is shut for the weekend, requires a course in mapreading just to locate the place. I have been researching my family history for years, but unfortunately have had little opportunity to do it. At last, a period of time when I have the funds and the time.
We stayed in a delightful bed and (enormous) breakfast just two minutes away with a delightful room containing a bed whose mattress was so thick you couldn't get gamma rays to pass through it and when you lay on it your eyes instantly closed in some deft pavlovian manoeuvre only outdone by the effect of the smell of coffee, which naturally had the opposite effect.
On day one, I spent the morning getting acquainted with the place, learning the ropes and understanding that it wasn't going to reveal some Dan Brown-esque code to th esecret of my family. Chances were, I'd have had a stroke of luck finding anyone in the 1911 census, which was the obvious place to start. But find we did, and we recorded several generations of my paternal grandmother's family. It turns out that she was from a fairly well-to-do lineage.
The afternoon of day one passed quite slowly, trying to trace my grandfather's passage into London in 1915. He was a Russian Pole by nationality, but (and here is where the trail goes cold for now) he was born in Batumi, Georgia, then in the Russian Empire, and his last place of residence was Montréal, Canada. That is going to take quite a bit of unravelling. So, I have a very special footsoldier on the ground in Georgia as you read these lines, who is dedicating days to travelling from Tbilisi to Batumi and back again, a four-hundred kilometre journey, just to check out the records for me. He happens to be a professor of history, presidential medal-winning genealogist and speaker of Georgian, Russian, English and Hungarian. Pretty good credentials, and someone I have the ultimate faith in. If anyone can solve the riddle of my grandfather's birthright then he can. If he is unable to find any trace of him there, I will probably have to go back to Moscow.
Either that, or I will need to contemplate the unthinkable: that he lied about his past. You never know, it might be for a good reason. But I think we're far enough in the future to realise that it has no consequence in the present.
Now stay with me in this next bit: my grandfather made the journey to London on Merchant Navy ships, arriving on 22nd December 1915. He was about 25 years old. Within three years he had swept a married woman with one child off her feet and she had divorced her poor husband, serving King and country in France. The divorce proceedings were quite fiery, especially considering the period in history. Back then it was pretty difficult to get a divorce, and adultery was one of the only ways. It was still a man's world, so once for a woman and she was shelved, whereas a man could do it as often as he liked and only when he became a local scandal maker could the wife divorce him. In my grandmother's case, a child was evidence enough for the divorce.
The rhetoric spewed in the proceedings say, that my grandmother was "guilty of adultery" in "divers (sic) locations". Wow, they really knew how to write seriously in those days.
The second day was spent checking my grandfather's Merchant Navy records. I went through about 400 documents, spread over 8 records and found very little. I need to return there in the coming months.
The Eurostar terminal at St Pancras is a delight. You really feel like you're going on a great journey when you arrive there. It sort of harks back to the glory days of rail travel: the great old iron and glass roof, the iron pillars and the brickwork on the cathedral-like station make it a pleasure, despite the bustling concourse full of shops.
So, finally, I have decided that the following course of action needs to be taken to get to the secret of my grandfather's ancestry: I am going to Marseille soon, Poland soon after, and I will take my main holidays in Georgia if the professor comes up with some interesting evidence.
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