The one thing which has always enfuriated me is being spoken to in a foreign language and being expected to understand. I live in Leuven, so I expect to speak Dutch wherever I go, but ever since I've been here, many people still insist on addressing me in English. I find this quite a nice touch from the Flemish, but they are taught foreign languages from a very early age. This doesn't happen so often now, as I've lost the accent and know the grammar pretty well. The Flemish love to show off their language skills. However, there is this anti-French Belgian streak in many, especially in Antwerp and the countryside. I put this down to one fatal flaw in the Belgian system: language education in schools.
You see, French-speaking Belgians, known as the Walloons, are notoriously monolingual. What doesn't help is that Brussels, a supposedly bilingual capital, is mainly French-speaking, even though during the working day the majority language is Dutch. On a recent promenade through Leuven, I heard a man shouting "monsieur, monsieur!" from his battered Ford Escort. Upon realising he was addressing me, I made my way to his car, to be asked for directions to the station. In French. In a Flemish town. Now if a Flemish guy pulled up in Charleroi and asked for directions in Dutch, there'd be a moment of silence before bewilderment, mirth and laughter in equal proportions. Here was a guy who knew that it just ain't the same in Flanders.
I replied to him firstly saying "how did you know I spoke French?" He replied that all Flemish people speak French. I pointed out to him that I was British and told him that, in the same way that he negligently missed his language classes as a child, I didn't take geography classes seriously and told him to ask someone who knew how to give directions, because I certainly couldn't. I mean, you'd think he'd even say something about his linguistic incompetencies, but no, nothing. So I sent him packing. But it doesn't stop there. I do the same sort of thing to English speakers too. I honestly don't mind helping someone out if they firstly make some kind of an effort, a word or two, or a gesture of apology for their incapabilities in Dutch.
Now, if I, as an outsider, start thinking like this, it doesn't require a leap of the imagination to understand what must be going through the heads of Flemish people. This has caused irreversible breakdown in the relations between the north and the south of Belgium.
There are other problems which don't help matters, for example the Flemish tabloid press. They are despicably anti-monarchy and anti-Walloon. They would do anything to create controversy, sell their dirty rags and get the Flemish out of the union with Wallonia, and take Brussels with them. Not all newspapers are like this, but you can tell the ones who are, by their blue logos. Another bee in the gutter press bonnet is, as I mentioned, the royal family. Even though they are weirdos they're royal weirdos and are the main reasons why Belgium still exists. And that's why the journalists are going out of their way to discredit them.
And then there's the difference in education. And what a difference it is. There are two main education systems in Belgium: the state system or the Catholic schools. Catholic schools are by far more disciplined and wide-ranging, and despite their affiliation, do teach Darwin and abortion. They cost a little, but are affordable even to the lower end of the wage scale. The state school system, like in most European countries, is a shambles where kids rule the roost and those who genuinely want to learn are marginalised. OK, there are also some good state schools and some bloody awful Catholic ones, but that's the general perception. A vast majority of Flemish send their children to Catholic schools, whereas in Wallonia state schools are in prominence. Thus the differences in knowledge, academic skills and career expectations are also large.
Popular culture is another thing: Walloons are happy to watch French language TV or French TV itself where everything is dubbed, so Chandler from Friends sounds like Daniel Auteuil and Sean Connery sounds like Yves Montand. On the Flemish side everything is subtitled for those who don't speak the language of the show or film. Since I started watching Flemish TV my reading ability has also improved. I can read much faster (you have to, before it disappears!) and even before I came to Flanders, I have always detested dubbing. Let us also remember that many Belgians also go to France on holiday in the summer, so even then the Walloons don't need to change languages.
We can also look at a thousand and one other things but I won't. What I want to say is that both sides have their flaws. How can a region like Flanders have such a great amount of xenophobes willing to vote for the Vlaams Belang (the Flemish nationalist separatist party) and yet be so culturally aware, so capable linguistically and so open to new cultures? And how can a region like Wallonia, always seeking inward investment, always desperate to create jobs, with wide open spaces for industry, be so backward-looking, introvert, and intransigent in reforming its 1960s-era social model?
The answer lies in there somewhere; I have yet to fathom it out...
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